The Lost Week . . . .

It’s almost like last week never really happened.  Last Sunday I returned from the Health E Voices conference with a sore throat, which I blamed on my hour spent in the not so clean (and kinda scary) Newark train station.  (I’ll most definitely be sharing more about the conference soon, but I was invited by and my travel and accommodations were paid for by the host, Janssen.)  I often end up with colds when I travel, so I didn’t think much of it.  On Monday I was pretty congested so I spent most of the day resting.  Usually that helps me recover fairly quickly.

This time that wasn’t the case.  By Tuesday I was much worse and had spiked a fever.  As I said,  I often pick up colds when I travel, and I’ve been very susceptible to colds for as long as I can remember, but I almost never have a fever.  I can’t even recall how long ago my last fever was.  So I spent the day in bed.  On Wednesday morning the fever was gone and I felt better so I headed off to a meeting.  Bad idea.  But the afternoon my fever was back and higher than before, and I felt even worse.  I ended staying in bed right through until yesterday, when I finally felt well enough to venture out for a few hours.

The problem is, I missed a lot of stuff while I was sick.  I’m most disappointed about having to cancel my trip to the DiabetesSisters Leadership Institute over the weekend.  I also needed to cancel a few other appointments during the week and I’m now completely behind on Diabetes Blog Week preparations and other general life stuff.  And my house is a wreck (which I hate!!).

So yes, I was Real People Sick <--- click then scroll down  and I was really sad and disappointed to  miss out on a whole bunch of stuff.  But I thought about how I would have felt if I had been Diabetes Sick and had to cancel my entire week.  And you know what?  It would’ve been much worse.  I would have been so angry.  I would have felt like a failure.  Why is that?  Why do I continue to let diabetes get the best of my emotions.  Sick is sick - it shouldn’t matter if my body can’t handle a germy invasion or a diabetes invasion.  But somehow it does, right?  Do you get more upset at being diabetes sick rather than real people sick too?

Mantras and More - #DBlogWeek Day 4

Welcome to Day Four of Diabetes Blog Week.  As we pass the halfway point of the week I hope you’ve been having fun and discovering some great new blogging friends.  In case you haven’t heard, yesterday Lauren’s Hope announced a surprise DBlogWeek contest so head over to their blog and nominate another DBlogger to win a fabulous prize that will be awarded tomorrow. 


Today we are getting back to the positive with our topic Mantras and More. Yesterday we opened up about how diabetes can bring us down. Today let’s share what gets you through a hard day? Or, more specifically, a hard diabetes day? Something positive you tell yourself, or mantras, or what you fall back on to get you through. Maybe we've done that and we can help others do it too? (Thanks to Meri of Our Diabetic Life for suggesting this topic.)


As much as I hate it, I’m a worrier and an obsessor.  This applies to life in general, but also to diabetes.  I often need to tell myself to take a step back and a deep breath and just stop for a minute.  Because when things are getting hard and everything is going wrong, I come up with huge sweeping plans to immediately fix everything to the last detail.  Diabetes off the tracks?  Well, I will only eat healthy foods, consume no more than 20 carbs per meal, exercise 45 minutes a day seven days a week, test my blood sugar every two hours and track every single diabetes detail.  Can you imagine how that turns out?  Big ol’ fail with a side of burned myself right out.  So the mantra I concentrate on most is this . . . .

It doesn’t have to be perfect, it just has to be better than it was.

I need to remember things didn’t go to crap all at once, so they won’t get perfectly fixed all at once.  They just need to be improving steadily.

• Haven’t exercised in months?  Shoot for once or twice this week and keep going from there.
• Blood sugar sitting at 253?  Don’t expect it to be back in range when I test again in an hour, just expect it to be lower than 250 and DON’T rage bolus!
• Snacking gone out of control?  Trade one bad snack a day for an apple.  Reach for a piece of cheese instead of a piece of chocolate.  One trade off at a time can get me on the right path.
• Bolusing off my CGM instead of fingersticks?   Before meals reach for the meter instead of looking at that CGM!

I’m not perfect.  Diabetes isn’t perfect either.  Neither of us ever will be.  But if I can make it better than it was before, I’m headed in the right direction.

You can find  more mantras on the Mantras and More - Thursday 5/15 Link List.

What is Diabetes Blog Week? Click here for an explanation and to sign up.  You can also check out a list of participants over here.

Grief and Diabetes Management . . .

It’s been one piece of bad news after another around here over the past couple of weeks.  And I’m beginning to understand that grief sends my diabetes management in two completely different directions.

The first is the “eff it all” mentality.  And there is nothing like bad news to make me crave curling up with a big bowl of carby indulgence.  Hello Macaroni and Cheese.  Bring on all the warm, gooey, creamy treats.  Hey, it’s called Comfort Food for a reason, right?  Grief makes it hard to care about what all those carbs do to my blood sugar.  That whole “life is too short, enjoy while you can” thinking sets in, along with the urge to take as many diabetes shortcuts as possible.  Because, you know, it can be hard to care when your hurting inside.

But then thinking about “life is too short” brings the realization that “life IS too short so we had better not waste a minute”.  And that actually inspires me to work harder at diabetes.  Times of grief  make it easy to see how much family members and loved ones need one another.  I am reminded of how important it is to do all we can to stay around for as long as possible.  Diabetes is tough and takes a lot of work and doesn’t always respond in a way that reflects the effort put in, but I’ve been managing pretty well for 34 years.  And I owe it to my family and friends to keep trying my best, because they need me.

So yes, a good cry is fine.  A bit of an indiscretion with some comfort food is okay once in a while.  But for the most part, I’m reminded that I owe it to my loved ones to do all I can.  And so, I will.

Wordless Wednesday - Renovation

Good bye portable dishwasher and cheap cabinets!!

 I spent the last two days packing up my entire kitchen in preparation for the big kitchen renovation, which starts today!  I’m stressed and busy, but mostly I’m very excited!  We’ll see how diabetes management goes during this very out of the ordinary (for my life, anyway) experience.

Yay for TSA

This morning when I got up it was still pitch black and the sun wouldn't wake for a couple of hours. Pete and I waded through barely moving traffic and he dropped me off at the airport with just enough time to catch my flight. (More about where I am and why as soon as I get the go-ahead to share the project.)

No sun, but plenty of traffic.

As if the barely crawling traffic wasn't enough to stress me out, I approached the TSA bins at the security line and could see a full body scanner ahead. *sigh* When I got to the front of the line I politely informed the TSA agent that I was wearing a medical device that can't go through the full body scanner and I'd like to request a pat-down. I was waiting for the response I've always gotten in the past -assurance that it's fine to go through the scanner and that others with insulin pumps do it all the time. I've even been told once that "the pump companies just say the full body scanners can cause damage because they want to be able to void the warranty". I always politely stick to my guns and continue to request the pat-down, and eventually they comply.

I'm thrilled to say this experience was different. I was immediately shown to the waiting area where someone met me for the pat-down. No resistance, no arguing, no trouble at all. It felt much like I would expect the experience to go if I had contacted TSA Cares before my trip. (I didn't do so because the website said to call 72 hours before your flight and this was a very last minute trip.) My pat-down was thorough but respectful, and after a quick swab of my hands I was on my way.

Had my experience been less than stellar, I certainly would have blogged about it. So since it was wonderful I felt a responsibly to write about it too. Thank you to the TSA Agents at JFK this morning for making my security experience go smoothly and just as I hoped it would.

A Diabetic without a Kitchen . . . .

As I sit here typing this, I’m waiting for a floor guy to come measure our kitchen.  This seems to be a normal occurrence these days, as I believe this will be the third set of measurements taken . . . at least.  But thats okay, because in the next month or two we will be deep in the throws of a complete kitchen remodel.  If you’ve ever seen my kitchen, you’ll understand just how excited I am.  I have the ugliest kitchen in the world.  You probably think I’m exaggerating, but I’m not.

Of course, along with being excited, I’m also stressed out and neurotically nervous about the renovation - because I wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t completely stressed out and expecting the worst.  When you live in a house built in 1921 there are a lot of things that can go wrong with any house project.  And then, of course, there is diabetes.  Because diabetes adds an extra layer of stress to just about anything, right?

Here’s the thing.  In the next month or so my kitchen will be gutted.  For approximately five weeks I’ll have no stove or sink, and the contents of my cabinets will be in boxes.  Hopefully we can stick the refrigerator in the dining room to hold some food . . . . and cream for coffee made in a borrowed Keurig.  As long as I have coffee and some fruits and vegetables I’m good for breakfast and lunch.  But dinner is what I’m worried about.  Dinners for five weeks with no kitchen.  Dinners at restaurants for five weeks.  I don’t see how my blood sugars (or my pants size) are going to handle that.  Help!!!

Have you ever gone through a similar renovation?  How did you manage to eat healthy when you had no kitchen?  I could sure use any tips!

The only thing constant is change . . .

Well, okay, actually diabetes is constant.  But I have to wonder if Heraclitus had diabetes too, because sometimes I feel like the only consistent thing about my diabetes management is that I have to constantly adjust and readjust and . . . . change!!

For the past couple of weeks I’ve been working hard on redoing our dining room.  After some intense physical labor, it’s about 93% done and looking fantastic.  But combine that extra activity with a monthly hormonal swing and a cold /  flu thing that hit yesterday?  Hello, epic lows.


For more than 24 hours I went no higher than 111.  And that graph reflects both a pizza dinner and a slice of cheesecake.  Even that didn’t bring me up.  Of course, today I've got a stuffy nose, a sore throat, and some stubborn germy spikes.

What’s a girl to do?  Well, temp basals to the rescue.  My latest post at The Loop is all about temp basals!!  Dial ‘em down for those epic lows, dial ‘em up for those germy spikes.  Head on over and check it out!

** My Medtronic disclosure can be found here. **

Endo Stress . . . .

I love my endo.  Last year I was so upset when he moved his practice 45 minutes away but I decided it was worth the drive to keep seeing him.  (I know in many areas 45 minutes is nothing, but in a small state like Connecticut we think it is a big deal.)  Sticking with him was absolutely the right decision and I’ve never once regretted it.  So my answer to this month’s DSMA Blog Carnival is probably going to surprise you.  The question of the month is . . . . .

Do you get nervous or stressed when you have to go to your endo/doc appointment? Why or why not? Be honest.

I'll say it again, I love my endo.  He’s supportive.  He treats me with respect and listens to what I have to say.  He never makes me feel rushed and always takes the time to answer each and every question I have.  He gives me recommendations but allows me final say in my health decisions.

So endo appointments should be a snap for me, right?  OH MY GOSH, WRONG WRONG WRONG!!!!  I get COMPLETELY stressed out.  Seriously, I am a nervous wreck for at least a week before.  I am a complete and utter crab (which is the G-rated version of what I’d really like to say I am) and I’m very lucky I have such a patient husband because I don’t know how he puts up with me.

Most of my stress comes from those stupid numbers on the paper . . . . my A1C and my meter reading.  I feel like they need to be perfect.  When I told my endo this, he said “Well, you do know that’s impossible, right.”  Which is true . . . . diabetes makes it impossible for our numbers to be perfect all the time.  Also, I think back to all those years when I couldn’t get my A1C down - I’d be so stressed before my appointments and I was sure if I could just get the number where it needs to be the stress would disappear.  I was wrong.  My A1C has been on goal for quite a while, but now before each appointment I stress that it has jumped back up.  I also stress over the results of my other labs and over getting the news that complications have set it.

Honestly, I know it’s just in my personality to stress.  In general, I stress the big things and the little things and everything in between.  So I guess it makes sense that endo appointments are no different.

This post is my June entry in the DSMA Blog Carnival.  If you’d like to participate too, you can get all of the information at http://diabetessocmed.com/2012/june-dsma-blog-carnival-2/

Busy Week . . . .

I am a busy bee this week.  I’m trialing both Glooko and mySentry (more on both soon!).  I’m rounding up the May #dsma blog carnival and coordinating the June topic.  I’m still (slowly) working on reading and commenting on the wonderful Diabetes Blog Week posts.  I have a wake to attend tomorrow night for a dear friend’s father.  I’m trying to get exercise back to the top of my priority list, so fitting in some workouts is a must.  And I’ll be spending the second half of my week in D.C. for the JDRF Annual Conference - which includes more time on the Hill advocating to my Congress people for support of diabetes issues.  Oh, and I have a pile of emails that are long overdue to be answered . . . .

Actually, it’s going to be a really great week (aside from the wake) and I’m so excited about everything.  But busy = stress and stress = erratic blood sugars.  Travel in general, and flying specifically, also tends to really throw my blood sugar into a state of havoc.  I’m always scared to toss exercise into the mix when I’m traveling.  And busy schedules and travelling can also  mess with healthy meal planning.

So basically, although I’m thrilled with everything that I have going on this week, I recognize it will be a bit challenging Diabetes-Wise.  I sure could use some tips and tricks!!  How do you stay on track during travel and busy times - especially when they both hit at once?

Small Successes . . .

When I last posted, there wasn’t much about our situation to celebrate.  But in just a couple of days a few things have shown up on both of our horizons that give us a lot of hope.  We are both crossing our fingers for these opportunities to pan out, and hopefully I’ll have some good news to report soon. 

In the meantime, it’s been a very rough few weeks.  When times get tough, my good intentions quickly fly out the window.  I’ve been trying hard to stay positive and to keep the ever looming cloud of depression from settling in.  It hasn’t been a total failure, but it hasn't been a complete success either.  Things have been sliding a bit.  My exercise routine is non-existent once again, which makes me pretty disappointed in myself because I had been doing very well.  I’ve been a bit MIA in the DOC, which is unfortunate because now is the time I should be connecting more - lending an ear and supporting others who are going through tough times, and thankfully taking any support offered back.  My house is messy, my husband is crabby and I’m cranky right back,

But it hasn’t been all bad.  One of my main goals for 2012 is to lose the extra weight I’ve been carrying around once and for all.  False starts?  I've had more than a few.  But since the New Year I’ve been faithful about logging my calories into my Lose It! app and have worked hard to stay in the calorie range given to lose one pound each week.  And during the four weeks of January I have exceeded my goal and lost just over 7 pounds.  I’m proud that I didn’t give in to the urges to drown my worries in comfort foods.  I’m proud that I didn’t give up when the going got rough.  I know I still have a long way to go to meet my final goal, but I feel like if I stuck through it during this extremely tough month, maybe I can really do it this time.  I’ve found that keeping this one small success in mind helps me believe that I might be able to turn the other cruddy stuff around too.

Now, to work on getting back to exercising . . . .

What small successes are you celebrating in your life?  Do they help you face larger challenges?  Let’s cheer each other on and get ready to tackle the big stuff together!!

Uncertainty

Today is Pete’s last day of work.  Although he was notified of his lay-off two weeks ago, it still seems a bit unreal.  And scary.  As of today, we are both jobless.  And I’ve never felt so frightened in my life.

Everyone has tough financial times during their life.  (Okay, maybe not EVERYONE, but everyone I know.)  But even when I’ve had to keep a close eye on my budget, I’ve never worried about my diabetes supplies and my insurance.  I’ve been very lucky and I always knew I could get what I need to stay alive and healthy.  Now the tide has changed.  It feels a bit like my luck has run out.  Although we will keep our insurance until the end of March, I’ve already begun to ration supplies.  I’m wearing my pump sites one day longer.  I’m stretching my sensors as long as I can.  I’m trying to save now, because if we need to go on COBRA in April, the premium will cost a fortune.

I’m also worried about the coverage we will get once we find jobs and have a new insurance to deal with.  Will I still be able to see my awesome endo?  Will my CGM be covered?  Will I get as many test strips as I need?  Or will I have to fight for coverage on my supplies?  And what will our new co-pays be like?

I know I’m not the first one who has been in the situation.  I know Pete and I will get through this.  I know it will all work out . . .  somehow.

But for now, I feel like I’m adrift on a sea of uncertainty . . . waiting to see when the tide will come in and where it will take me. And that is a very scary place to be.

Going Downhill . . . .

** Warning: If you are currently eating or very squeamish, you may want to skip this post. **


I thought it was bad when my d-supplies decided to conspire against me.  Little did I know, it was nothing compared to what my kitchen tools had in store.  Or specifically, one very sharp kitchen knife that was apparently quite upset with me.  It showed its displeasure by slicing clear through my nail and into my finger.


It didn’t hurt because the knife was so sharp, but it bled.  It bled a lot.  I briefly considered testing my blood sugar but realized I’d probably gush way too much blood all over my meter.  So I grabbed a wad of paper towels, held pressure on it, and began to panic.  Then I did what any grown, 43 year old woman would do.  I called my Mommy and Daddy.  (Okay, and tweeted too.)

My Dad used to be an EMT.  As soon as I described what had happened, he hopped in his car and headed over to take me to the Urgent Care Clinic.  Luckily, by the time he arrived, the bleeding had finally begun to slow.  I told him I probably didn’t need to go to the clinic after all.  And he said, “If it was anyone else I’d say no, but because you have diabetes I think you should go.”  Oh how I hated to hear that!  I hate when diabetes makes me “different”.  I hate when diabetes brings extra worry to non-diabetes occurrences.  I hate when diabetes permeates every tiny aspect of my life.

In the end, I talked Dad out of Urgent Care.  He agreed that there really wasn’t anything they would be able to do.  I promised to keep a close eye on the wound and to go to the doctor if I saw the tiniest sign of infection.  So Dad put on a special bandage and told me to call him if I bled through the gauze and he’d take me to the clinic.

A few hours later, my slashed up finger started hurting.  It still hurts - especially when I try to type.  But it is healing up just fine.  This time, diabetes didn’t barge in and make things worse, and for that I’m very thankful.

Has diabetes ever made an injury more complicated for you?  And does that annoy you as much as it annoys me??

So when does it get easier??

For years and years I struggled with my A1C.  It was always too high.  No matter what I did, no matter what my endo and I tried, no matter what I couldn’t get it where I wanted it to be.

So, before I go any further, let me clarify that I am not saying an insulin pump is the answer for everyone, nor do I believe everyone should pump.  We are all different.  What works for one doesn’t work for everyone.  Let me also say I am not trying to brag about my A1C at all.  Okay, but, for me the pump has been kind of magic.  Since going on the pump about three and a half year ago, my A1C has been right where my endo and I have wanted it to be.  Sound the bells, strike up the band, everything is great, right?

Well, not quite.  I think back to when I was working so hard and not getting any results.  I think about how much I dreaded each endo appointment.  I remember wishing I could just get my A1C in line because then all of the stress and fear would be gone!!!

And I did.  My A1C has been in line since August of 2008.  Each and every lab slip comes back with nothing but the numbers we've been shooting for.  But guess what?  The stress and fear, the dread before each endo appointment?  They are just as strong.  What . . . the . . . . fructose??

I see my endo on Wednesday.  I procrastinated getting my blood drawn at the lab until today.  I secretly toy with the idea of coming up with some excuse to push back my appointment.  I’ve had several dreams about being in that tiny exam room and finding out that my A1C is HORRID.  I am convinced I am doing terribly - even though when I download and analyze my numbers they are right where they should be.  It's not just the average that is good (because to paraphrase my friend Rachel Y, a 210 and a 30 on the meter work out to a perfectly acceptable 120 average.)  The numbers, the pie charts, the standard deviation- they all check out just fine.  And yes, I pour over the numbers from both my CGM and my meter, never really believing that either of them are telling the true story.

All of those years I spent wishing I could get my A1C where I needed it to be, sure that once I did I could stop worrying neurotically over each number and appointment, seem kind of like a waste.   Because I’m finally there . . . . yet I am still just as neurotic.  Why can’t I relax?  Why can’t I trust that I’m dong well?  Why am I sure I’m gong to get blindsided by a sky-high A1C, even when everything points to that not happening?  Why am I so afraid of letting myself, and my endo, down?  Why did I think that once I got my A1C to a certain number all of my diabetes problems would be solved?  And when, oh goodness when, does it get easier?

Help an anxious girl out?

So.  Okay.  I might be freaking out a little over here.  And you are so going to laugh at me when you hear why.  But here goes.

So tomorrow I have to fly.  On an airplane.  A very very long way.  All alone.  Next week I’ll be posting more about the fabulousness that awaits me on the other side.  But for now, I’m completely freaking out about the flight.

Yes, I’m one of those nervous flier types.  It’s not so much the “oh-my-gosh-I’m-way-high-up-in-the-air” thing that gets me.  It’s more the “holy-crap-I’m-sealed-in-this-little-tube” that freaks me out.  I’m extremely claustrophobic and the last time I flew across the country the seats were really small.  I didn’t even really have the space to reach into my carry-on to get my meter and test.  It was bad.

If the seats were this spacious I'd be fine.  But they aren't, are they?

If the claustrophobia isn’t enough to agonize over, there is always the hassle of traveling with diabetes.  Being stuck in a confined place for a number of hours is nerve-wracking too.  I’m less concerned about going low because I’ll be packing plenty of glucose tabs and granola bars - but it’s unlikely I’ll be needing those.  I’m more worried about going high, and I'm not talking about altitude here.  The nerves, the stress, the lack of activity - they all suggest I’ll be fighting high blood sugars all day.  And the other people in my row won’t be too pleased with me climbing over them to run to the bathroom every hour because my blood sugar is making my bladder fill up at record speed.

So, can you help a girl out?  I know what to pack so I’ll be prepared.  But those of you who stress over flying - what are your tips for staying calm and keeping yourself occupied on a long cramped flight?  I’m begging you, lay your best travel secrets on me . . . .because I’m gonna need them!

Germ Magnet

After making it through that terrible stomach virus three weeks ago I thought I was in the clear.  I was wrong.  Apparently I have become a germ magnet and each and every little germy bastard is intent on making my body its home.

This time, it’s not a barfy germ.  It’s a throat-on-fire germ.

This germ also brought some body aches.  And just for fun, a very stuffy nose.  I suppose this could be Spring allergies . . . . but it feels like the work of some mean cold germs to me.

I’ve had enough of being sick.  I feel like I catch more than my fair share of the crud and I blame diabetes for that.  And to rub salt into the wounds, the stress of fending off those germs makes blood sugar management extra difficult.  My meter will back me up on that statement by showing that my readings ranged from 197 to 44 yesterday.

Got any tips for keeping the germs from attacking?  (ROAR)

Sicko . . .

Every Sunday we go to my parent’s house for dinner.  When we arrived last Sunday my dad was recovering from what he thought was food poisoning.  My mom thought it was a virus.  Mom was right, because she got hit with it on Monday.  And lucky me, I got it on Tuesday.

It came on fast.  I was fine all day, until it was time to pick Pete up at the train station.  I dragged myself out to get him, then came home and climbed right into bed while he went out for some supplies that would hopefully settle my stomach.  I was sick one more time before he got back.

Once home, Pete brought me a diet ginger ale and 22 carbs worth of saltines.  I played it smart and ate two crackers without bolusing to see what would happen.  I felt completely fine and hungry, so I bolused for the 22 carbs and finished my crackers.  And that is where things started to go wrong.



Twenty minutes later my stomach made it quite clear that the saltines were not welcome.  My blood sugar was starting to dip, so I tried regular ginger ale.  That was rejected.  I tried a popsicle.  Also rejected.  My blood sugar continued to fall so I forced down ginger ale sips and popsicle nibbles but they just wouldn’t stay.  We pulled out the glucagon in case it was needed, and (oh crap) it was expired.  And my blood sugar?  It was now 36.  And that’s when I started to panic.

I have never ever been in a situation when my blood sugar has been low when I’m sick.  So although I’m embarrassed to admit it, I’m going to be totally honest with you.  I’ve always kind of ignored the advice about having a sick-day plan - knowing all I'd ever needed to do was set a higher temp basal.  I’m here to tell you that not having a sick day plan is a very stupid thing to do - no matter how long you’ve been living with diabetes.  Being sick is stressful enough.  Being sick and scared and in an emergency situation is the worst!!

Luckily for me, things played out okay.  I was hoping to avoid a trip to the ER, and thankfully I did.  Common sense told me to suspend my pump.  Instinct told me to turn to Twitter and get some advice from the D-OC.  I was assured that suspending should work and reminded to keep a close eye on how long I suspended so I didn’t end up with ketones.  (Thanks @cerichards21 and @AbbyBayer)  I was advised that if necessary, I could always try the glucagon anyway - especially since it was only 2 months past the expiration date.  (Thanks @StaceyDivone, @jennaspetmonkey, @scottkjohnson and @sstrumello)  And I got tons of well wishes, support, encouragement to go to the ER if I needed to, and suggestions of foods that might be acceptable to my cranky stomach - which went a long way towards calming me down and soothing my fears.  (Thank you all!!!!!)  I also turned to Lorraine's blog to reread how she handled a similar situation with Caleb.  In the end, the glucagon wasn’t needed.  After two hours I was up to 115 and I took my pump out of suspend.  It took a full 20 hours before I could eat again, but during that time I was solidly in the 140 - 180 range.

It’s not often that after 31 years with diabetes I run into a situation I haven’t dealt with before.  But this story is proof that it can happen.  Ignoring advice about having a sick day plan just because I never needed one before was careless.  You can bet I am refilling my glucagon, making a cheat sheet about mini-dosing, adding concentrated juice and chocolate syrup to my stash of regular ginger ale, and making notes to talk to my endo about a sick day plan.  Next time, you can bet I’ll be prepared!!

On adrenaline and stress . . .

This morning started much like any other Monday.  The alarm clock went off way too early.  I packed a lunch for Pete, threw on some sweats, and headed out to drive him to the train station.  As we neared the end of our street, I heard Pete yell.  Then I heard a crunch.  Then the car began to spin and I realized it was no longer under my control.  Luckily, this all happened in a flash and before I knew it our poor car was wedged into the snow and ice on the side of the road.  We were stuck, but we were both just fine.  Everyone in the other car was fine too.

 

My blood sugars have been amazingly stable throughout the ordeal.  It’s incredible to test and see nothing lower than 91 and nothing higher than 115, but I’m beginning to understand that adrenaline seems to do wonderful things to my blood sugar management.  I remember being surprised at how stable my sugars were two years ago when we were dealing with Pete being mugged.

I know this is temporary.  Once the adrenaline subsides and the stress takes over,  my blood sugars will skyrocket.  But I can take it.  All that matters is that everyone involved in the accident is fine.  The blood sugars?  They are a small price to pay and I won’t let them rattle me one bit!

Nerves . . .

It happens like clockwork . . . every few months.  The nerves set in.  The butterflies make a nest in my stomach.  Anxiety overload.  What is the trigger?  An upcoming endo appointment.

Next Friday it's time for me to go back to Dr. F.  On Monday I'll go to the lab to get my blood work done.  I'm nervous about that.  It's not the actual needle that I stress over - I'm an old pro at that by now.  It's what my blood will show - more specifically what my A1C and blood glucose numbers will be.  I must confess, if my fasting number is not in range on Monday, chances are I'll delay my blood draw until Tuesday.  I know this is silly.  My pump downloads and A1C will help show if that out-of-range reading was an exception or the norm.  But still, I can't help wanting the fasting number the lab prints on my test results to be "perfect".

The nerves don't stop once the blood work is drawn.  I have a full week of anxiety ahead of me.  It's stupid, really.  Even when I was on MDIs and my A1C was way above a healthy range, Dr. F never once lectured or blamed me.  Instead, we discussed what was going on and he gave me new things to try.  A new type of insulin that might work better for my body.  The splitting of my Lantus dose in the hopes of providing more even coverage.  A gentle suggestion that pumping might help me, but the freedom and time to come around to the idea of pumping on my own.  The statement that no matter what, there will always be some highs and lows and that I shouldn't beat myself up over them.

And since going on the pump, my A1Cs have been consistently under 6.5.  The only problems my other lab work has ever shown have been easily fixable - things like low iron stores or low Vitamin D levels.  Sure, I do breathe a sigh of relief each time he reports that my liver and kidney function results are awesome - who wouldn't?  But for the most part, he reports that everything looks good, he looks at my pump downloads and we discuss anything that might need tweaking, he asks me if I have any questions, and then he tells me how great I'm doing and says he'll see me in 3 - 4 (or sometimes even 5 - 6) months.  I head out the door with a huge smile on my face and the weight of the world lifted off my shoulders.  And I wonder why I spent the past week all stressed out.

Until a week before my next appointment.  When the cycle starts all over again . . .

Sick . . . .

A nose that’s stuffed,
A throat that’s sore,
Blood sugars running high.
Chills and shivers
And ears that ache,
Just make me want to cry.

Some stupid germ
Some mean virus
Has nestled in my head
Making me sneeze
And sometimes wheeze
And turning my poor nose red.

Can't clean or blog
Or do laundry
No treadmill for me today.
Will soup and tea
And a nice long nap
Please make this go away?

I'll watch TV
and get some rest
And have plenty of time to knit.
And hope that tomorrow
when I awaken
I no longer feel like like . . . .

One pump, Two pump, Dead pump, New pump . . .

With a hat tip to Dr. Seuss for my post title, I wanted to finally tell you a story.  This all happened a few weeks ago - and while I've been wanting to blog about it, some things around here have kept me off-line for a while.  Things like finishing up my class, busy weekends, some not-so-good family news, out of town guests and being sick on the couch.  You know, life stuff.

For now, let's rewind to a Friday night a few weeks ago.  Pete and I decided to FINALLY attend one of the Practice Parties at the ballroom studio where we take lessons.  I put on a cute dress, stashed my pump in my bra, and headed out to the Oktoberfest Dance Celebration.  (The studio owners are from Germany, as are most of the staff.)  We had fun.  We danced a lot.  And then we headed home.

While in the car, I fished my pump out of my bra to see what the CGM was reading.  I hit the buttons but something was wrong.  It kept freezing up on me.  I decided to wait until we got home and into the light to see what was going on.

In the well-lit kitchen, I tried again.  It seemed like the pump would take one button push and then lock up.  After fiddling with it for a few more minutes, I decided to call Minimed's 24 hour tech support.  Even at 11:00 pm on a Friday they were "experienced high call volume" and I had to "stay on the line for the next available support person" . . . *** insert cheesy on-hold music here *****.  While I waited for Mr. Tech-Support-Guy my pump wailed a series of shrill beeps and flashed me a "Button Error".

It wasn't too long before Mr. Tech-Support-Guy was with me and I explained the locking buttons and the error message.  "Okay, has your pump recently been submerged?"  "No."  "Okay, we do see this problem sometimes, and I have to say, it happens to females more often than males.  I'll explain why."  He talked about how most men just clip their pump to their waistband and are done.  But women often tuck it into their bra (why yes, I did!!) or inside their waistband where it is next to the skin.  Over time, especially in hotter climates, sweat can make it's way into the buttons and cause them to corrode.  I mentioned that I don't wear my pump in my bra very often, but that I had it there that night.

I had hoped we'd run some diagnostic test, but unfortunately he said once the button error flashed the pump was dead and there was nothing left to do but pull out the battery to keep the pump from squawking all night and reach for the syringes for some old-fashioned injections.  He would have a new pump to my door by noon on Saturday.  I thanked him for his help and hung up.

Then I had a major melt-down.  It was almost midnight and I was freaked out and my mind wouldn't think straight.  First off I was upset that diabetes was going to make me sit around Saturday morning waiting for a new pump when I had been promising Pete all week that we'd go to a remote control helicopter show he'd been really looking forward to.  (Yeah, I know, boring . . . . but he walks around looking at yarn all day when I drag him to Fiber Festivals, so I owe him  a lot!)   Once I was done being angry at letting Pete down . . . again . . . I panicked about Lantus dosages.  How much did I used to take?  I'd been dancing all evening, how low would that push me?  Without my pump I have no CGM alarm to wake me if I crash.  It's almost midnight . . . WTF do I do?

What did I do?  I actually did something really smart.  I got on Twitter and tweeted.

Within seconds, I had helpful and supportive tweets from the D-OC and even from a knitter.

Then the phone rang and Crystal was on the other end - telling me to calm down and take some deep breathes while she figured out my dosage for me.  I don't know what I would have done without her.

This story has a happy ending.  My new pump was delivered just after 9 am on Saturday morning, meaning I was pumpless less than 10 hours.  That impressed the heck out of me, considering it broke just before midnight on a Friday.  I have to give Minimed a huge salute for the way this was handled.   I logged onto my Carelink account and printed the Device Settings report, which gave me all of the information I needed to get my new pump programmed just like my old pump.  And Pete and I were on our way to the helicopter show just one hour behind schedule.

The morel?  Always be prepared, because the worst will happen at the very worst time possible.  And if you are stuck, reach out to the D-OC.  Chances are there is always someone there to support you, no matter the time of day!