Monday, November 28, 2016

Between Big and Napping…

The other day I was wasting time on Facebook and I came across this . . .

flipflap - 12/28/2015 1:31:47 AM

And I chuckled and thought about how nice it would be to take a nap and then I moved on.

I later came across this post from Riva Greenberg about advocacy burnout.  And it resonates with me.  As always, Riva has a remarkable way of always getting to the heart of what I’m feeling.  November is Diabetes Awareness Month, but this year I don’t feel that I’m “going big” like I have during Novembers past.  I’m tired and maybe a bit jaded from the years I tried so hard to promote and educate and raise awareness and felt like I was screaming into a void.  That the only ones listening were us, the DOC, the ones who already get it.  I’ve felt bad about feeling this way, but once again Riva has reminded me that this is part of being human and it’s okay.

That isn’t to say I haven’t been working on stuff.  I’m part of a couple new projects - one that has launched and is shaping up nicely and one that is still in the very beginning stages.  I’m really excited about both and will be telling you more very soon.  I’m also busy off-line with support groups and events and in-person stuff.  I’m not exactly “napping”  yet.

I’m here.  Somewhere between Big and Napping.  A little bit glad that Diabetes Awareness Month is almost over.  And for now, right where I think I need to be…..

Friday, October 14, 2016

Why I SHOULDN’T do the Big Blue Test…

The Big Blue Test starts today, and I’m certain you can find numerous posts around the DOC telling you why you should participate.  But it’s Friday and I’m tired and cranky and probably need some more coffee (or a cocktail but it’s too early for that, right?).  So I decided to let my cynical narcissistic exercise-hating side take over and come up with some reasons why I shouldn’t do Big Blue Test.  Please read each lazy-ass excuse in the most whiney voice you can conjure up.
  1. I can’t find any information on what Big Blue Test even is.  Wrong.  There is a whole post right here that does a great job of explaining Big Blue Test. It even has a video.
  2. It takes too much time.  Nope.  It takes as little as 14 minutes.  That’s less time than a mid-day Starbucks run.
  3. Nobody else is doing it.  Untrue.  More than 100,000 people have done Big Blue Test since it launched in 2010.
  4. If so many other people are doing it, nobody needs me to participate.  Incorrect.  The goal this year is to reach 150,000 entries.  That is a lot, and every single participant matters if the goal will be reached.
  5. There is no benefit to me.  False.  On the average, people doing Big Blue Test see their blood sugar drop by around 20%.
  6. Okay, but there is no benefit to anyone else.  Erroneous, and also not very narcissistic, by the way.  The truth is, each Big Blue Test logged results in $3 donated to diabetes charities.  $1 each goes to DiabetesSisters, We Are Diabetes and Riverside Community Diabetes Collaborative.
  7. It is way too hard to log the results.  Inaccurate. You simply answer the quick form found to the right of this page.  Or, you can download the Big Blue Test app to your mobile device for even easier logging.
  8. I don’t have diabetes.  Okay, so obviously I do.  Even the cynical narcissistic exercise-hating side of me.  But if you are reading this and don’t have diabetes?  You aren’t off the hook.  Look at question 2.  If you answer Yes, fields pop up to record your blood sugars.  And if you answer No, you won’t see those fields but can still record your Big Blue Test participation.
Well, son of an expletive, it looks like my cynical narcissistic exercise-hating side has run out of reasons not to do the Big Blue Test.  There is no reason I can’t manage an entry a day from now through November 14th.  And the same goes for you, right??

Thursday, October 13, 2016

What Would You Do If . . . .

Question-Girl-2400pxWhen I was a tween . . . well . . . when I was a tween the word “tween” didn’t exist, actually.  But that’s beside the point.  Anyway, when I was a tween we had a favorite game at sleepovers called “What Would You Do If . . . “.  Shocking scenarios were imagined and we had to confess what we would do.  For example, “what would you do if you were walking home from school with insert name of current crush here and . . . HE TRIED TO KISS YOU?!?!?!”.  As you can imagine, our tween selves did a lot of giggling and blushing but not a lot of sleeping at these sleepovers.

As silly as this game was, it turns out What Would You Do If was somewhat useful.  Because living with diabetes kind of has me in a constant round of WWYDI. 

What would I do if my blood sugar crashed at 2a.m.?  I keep a jar of GlucoLift on my night table.

What would I do if I was traveling and my bottle of insulin broke?  I pack a spare bottle or two.

What would I do if my blood sugar went dangerously low and I passed out?  We have glucagon in Pete’s dresser drawer and also in my purse.  And it isn’t even expired!!

What would I do if my pump had a major meltdown and stopped working?  I have a old pump as a backup.  I also have some syringes and long-acting insulin. (But I'm pretty sure that has expired . . . )

Living with a chronic illness means I need to prepare for the unexpected and consider what I would do in various situations.  It’s a good skill to have, even though the diabetes version isn’t as silly or fun as our tween sleepover version.  So what’s on your Diabetes What Would You Do If list?

Friday, October 7, 2016

When Worlds Collide - #AADE16

My world is the patient world, the Person With Diabetes world.  So when I decided to attend the AADE Annual Meeting this year, I was a little bit nervous.  Sure, I've been to plenty of conferences. But they have all been geared towards patients. This conference was different. This was my first diabetes conference that was geared towards health care professionals. I’d be in a whole different world than the one I’m used to.  I worried that maybe I wouldn’t fit in, and maybe I would feel like I was intruding.  I couldn’t have been more wrong.

The sessions I attended reminded me that there is a whole group of people out there that want to help us live the best lives we can.  They want to help us get the tools we need to thrive - and there was recognition that our tools are both physical and emotional.  It’s hard to pick a  favorite session because they were all so good.  But I think I’ll go with “Culinary Medicine Helps Overcome Hurdles to Healthy Eating" presented by Leah Sarris, Program Director for the Goldring Center for Culinary Medicine at Tulane University.  I loved hearing about programs in which patients come in and learn how to make healthy foods that are less expensive and quicker to prepare than zipping through the drive-thru.  It’s easy to see that learning these skills sets a patient up for much more success than sending them home with a vague order to “eat more lean protein and vegetables”.

I also spent a little time at the DiabetesSisters booth and I was thrilled to see how excited the CDEs I spoke to were about the peer support we provide.  I’m always careful to explain that our PODS meetings don’t include any medical  advice, but everyone I spoke with understood that already.  I didn’t need to explain myself or the things I write about or volunteer for.  I was just welcomed and accepted as part of this conference, and it felt great.

I’ve come away considering the patient world vs the HCP world.  Hours put in to managing diabetes.  Knowledge learned and shared.  A desire to make tomorrow better than today.  Which world am I referring to?  That of the patient or that of the educator?

The answer is both. When what I thought of as two worlds collided, I saw it isn’t about the PWD world and the CDE world.  It’s about the world we share together.  And I’m happy to have so many talented educators out there, dedicated to making our journey through this life with diabetes as successful as possible.  Thank you, #AADE16, for making a first timer feel like she fit right in.

(Okay, okay, it wasn’t all sessions and education.  Just as with patient-centric conferences, there was time for some silly fun too . . . . . )

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Shopping my Yard . . . .

I’m a haphazard gardener.  Pete says I love the planting and I love the harvesting but I hate the tending.  He isn’t wrong.  But as he started tending my neglected garden, he found the garden upkeep to be soothing so I guess we make a good team.  (#thanksPete)

This morning I harvested, and the harvest was really good.  Especially considering the fact that this year we planted a last minute garden that we haphazardly tossed in during our spring plant shopping.

A bunch of cherry tomatoes.  Some kind of peppers - I wish I could remember what they are but I just randomly picked up a plant that looked interesting and have now forgotten the variety.  And an eggplant.  This is our first year growing eggplant and I’m thrilled!!!  That is the second one we've picked, and there is a third little one on the plant that I hope to harvest in the near future.  (If a squirrel gets it, I'll be really really mad!!)

A bunch of larger tomatoes that will become tonight’s dinner, along with a ton of basil and parsley from my herb garden.

Healthy eating doesn’t come so easily for me.  I grew up hating vegetables.  My taste buds really like junk food.  And carbs.  But I like planting and harvesting and I get excited to cook and eat (or just wash and snack on) the produce I’ve shopped from my yard.  And we’re currently working with a designer to put a nice patio and fence in our sad little backyard, and next spring we hope to have a bigger and better and well thought out garden bed. 

Small steps to less processed, healthier, lower carb foods in our diet - that are about as local as they can get!

Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Tune-Out . . . .

This isn’t Diabetes Burnout.  At least this isn’t what burnout looks like for me.  But there is definitely something going on.  And I’ve realized it’s best described as Diabetes Tune-out.

When I’m in burnout, things get really sloppy.  I swag bolus more than I carb count.  I dose off my CGM rather than doing finger sticks.  I don’t pre-bolus.  I graze and randomly dose.  I take CGM breaks.  I feel really really aggravated with diabetes and I just want to ignore it.  (I don’t ignore it . . . . because I want to live . . . . . but when I’m burnt I really really want to ignore it.  And maybe I ignore bits and pieces of diabetes.)

None of that is going on here.  But something is.  I just don’t want to think about diabetes.  I don’t want to write about it.  Or Tweet or Facebook.  Or comment on blogs.  Or participate in #dsma.  Or do all those other things I usually love to do.  Instead I’ve just wanted to tune out.  And so, I have.

ToungeInstead, I’ve been cooking and baking and working on the house.  I’ve been gardening in the sunshine.  I’ve been shopping and going out for cocktails.  I’ve been texting my friends with pictures of my cat sticking out her tongue.  I’ve been doing fun stuff, quietly and without tying it to diabetes.  In a way, I’ve been sticking out my tongue at diabetes.

I realize that Diabetes Tune-Out is maybe something I need to let happen every so often.  I think (and hope) it might be the break I need to fend off  Diabetes Burnout.  But today, I felt like writing a post.  And I’m looking forward to participating in #dsma tonight.  I’m ready to tune back in.

Monday, August 8, 2016

Four Lows, A High and A Snuggly Cat . . .

Last night I slept without a sensor.  I’ll be traveling later in the week and delayed inserting my new sensor so its life will span the entire time I’m sleeping solo in a hotel room.  I don’t know how diabetes inherently knows that I’m lacking the safely net of my sensor, but somehow it does.  And it picks that time to go completely off the rails.

Pete and I are working our way through The West Wing on Netflix, and we settled in to watch another episode from Season 2 before bed.  I did a finger-stick to make sure things were good.

They were.  But I did another about an hour before bed to see which way my numbers were heading.

Ugh.  While 73 isn’t too terrible a number for me in general, the fact that it flashed up an hour before bedtime, and that I had dropped 20 points in 30 minutes, was not what I was hoping for.  So I had four fruit Tootsie Rolls and we watched the end of the episode.  An hour later I was ready for one last finger-stick and some much needed sleep.

Diabetes had another plan.  54 is an unsafe number for me at any time, and the fact that I continued to drop after treating was troubling.  So I ate three Orange Cream Glucolifts (yum) and brushed my teeth.  Then I played with K.C. until the 15 minute mark had passed so I could confirm I was back up and finally sleep.

Nope, diabetes was really laughing at me now.  My swearing woke Pete up, who saw the 43 and headed downstairs to get me some juice.  Juice isn’t really my low treat of choice, but it always brings me up and works very fast when I’m really low.  So juice it was, and a good amount at that.  My only symptom during this long bout of lows was some hefty anxiety, which melted away.  So I brushed my teeth again and drifted off to sleep.  Until I woke up two hours later with my mind nagging me to finger-stick again.

Okay, WTF??????  I didn’t want to wake Pete again so I was much quieter when I swore.  I knew I probably needed more than just the Glucolift on my nightstand.  So I stumbled downstairs, where I ate two Peeps horded from Easter, some Dots and four crackers with crunchy peanut butter.  I went back upstairs to brush my teeth a third time, during which I dropped the toothpaste and knocked over a cup and ended up waking poor Pete up anyway.  I played on my phone a bit until I was confident it was safe to sleep.  And it was a nice three hours of rest until K.C. meowed me awake to give her a snuggle.  She does this several times each night.  She’s very sweet and loving, which means I’m  generally very tired.  But in this case, I was glad she got lonely, because as she settled in next to me and I began petting her I could tell things weren’t good.  The palms of my hands and the soles of my feet felt like sandpaper.  My lips felt like they would start cracking at any minute.  And my mouth was so so dry and I was so so thirsty.

Yeah.  I don’t even know what to say.  I took a correction plus one unit, as is usually needed when I find myself over 250.  I got up yet again to have some water and check for ketones (which thankfully were negative, so at least one thing went right last night).  When the alarm went off two hours later, I was still 207 but with enough active insulin working to bring me back into range.  However, I don’t think there is enough active caffeine working to rid me of feeling like I’ve been run over by a truck.

Okay, diabetes.  You won the battle last night.  But tonight we spar again, and I’m really hoping to win this time.  Because I really need to sleep . . . .

Thursday, July 28, 2016

Diabetes Around the World . . . .

I’ve been leading DiabetesSisters Virtual PODS for almost two years now.  I love getting together each month to discuss diabetes with women all over the United States.  I’ve learned so much from each and every “sister”.  It’s been especially interesting to hear some of the different challenges we may face based on where in our country we live.  Weather can cause challenges.  Urban areas may have different resources than rural areas.  Different types of foods may or may not be available.  It really gives me something to think about.

Global-HeartAnd when I co-hosted our first Global PODS in February, with Elizabeth from T1International, all of these things got bumped up to the next level.  There are challenges faced by women with diabetes in other countries that I have never fathomed.  And still, we also have so much in common, which is a comforting and uniting circumstance.  So I am very excited to co-host our second Global PODS tomorrow.  I can’t wait to reconnect with some of the women from around the world that I (virtually) met last time and get to know some new attendees.  We’ll be discussing access, comparing and contrasting pressing access issues in each of our countries and brainstorming for possible solutions.

If you are women living with any type of diabetes and would like to join us, please email me or Elizabeth so we can send you the meeting link.  We’ll be holding the Global PODS tomorrow, Friday July 29th, at 3pm GMT.  (Click here to see what time that is in your corner of the world . . . . )