It’s been one piece of bad news after another around here over the past couple of weeks. And I’m beginning to understand that grief sends my diabetes management in two completely different directions.
The first is the “eff it all” mentality. And there is nothing like bad news to make me crave curling up with a big bowl of carby indulgence. Hello Macaroni and Cheese. Bring on all the warm, gooey, creamy treats. Hey, it’s called Comfort Food for a reason, right? Grief makes it hard to care about what all those carbs do to my blood sugar. That whole “life is too short, enjoy while you can” thinking sets in, along with the urge to take as many diabetes shortcuts as possible. Because, you know, it can be hard to care when your hurting inside.
But then thinking about “life is too short” brings the realization that “life IS too short so we had better not waste a minute”. And that actually inspires me to work harder at diabetes. Times of grief make it easy to see how much family members and loved ones need one another. I am reminded of how important it is to do all we can to stay around for as long as possible. Diabetes is tough and takes a lot of work and doesn’t always respond in a way that reflects the effort put in, but I’ve been managing pretty well for 34 years. And I owe it to my family and friends to keep trying my best, because they need me.
So yes, a good cry is fine. A bit of an indiscretion with some comfort food is okay once in a while. But for the most part, I’m reminded that I owe it to my loved ones to do all I can. And so, I will.