I've often said I'd rather have a low blood-sugar than a high one. To me, highs feel like failures. Lows make me feel like I've done something right - even though that isn't true.
For the most part, I can tolerate lows pretty well. When I hit numbers in the 40s I'm a bit fuzzy and have to concentrate extra hard, but with a little more effort I can still function. I've even seen scary numbers in the 30s and high 20s and been okay.
Over the weekend, though, I had a "bad low". I was feeling lousy that day, like I had caught the cold Pete was getting over. So I spent the day on the couch. As Pete warmed some chicken soup for dinner, I tested my blood sugar and rang in at 73. I let my pump deduct some insulin for the lower reading and bolused. I guess I was dropping fast, because by the time the soup was ready I was feeling really ill. I forced some down, and then an overwhelming urge to sleep came over me. I told Pete I was really tired, put down my half-eaten soup, and shut my eyes. Pete got my meter and asked me to check my blood sugar. I was surprised at the low number I saw.
Pete got me a juice-box, which I quickly downed. But this low was fierce. That 36 reading brought along an overwhelming feeling of fear. I was sure my blood sugar wasn't going to come back up, and that I would pass out and there would be nothing I could do to help myself. My panicked brain told me that if Pete called 911, they wouldn't get to me in time. I can't ever remember feeling so scared from a low, and I let Pete know how I was feeling. He got me two big spoonfuls of frosting. Then I had two peanut butter eggs. About five or ten minutes later, the fear was gone and I felt more like myself. A few hours later I was trying to bring a 223 blood sugar back into range - but for once I didn't care that I was high. I was glad I ate everything I did, because I just wanted that scared feeling to go away and never come back.
I always stress to Pete that it's very important not to get lulled into a false sense of security about my lows. I was actually fine this time, but I didn't feel fine. It's important to treat each and every low as an emergency. Just because I handled a 47 yesterday, doesn't mean it won't knock me out today. And Saturday night was just a little reminder of that fact.