Write about something that gets you down, burns you out, or makes you sad. Purge it in a blog post. Turn it around at the end. Tell Tuesday why you’re ready for it.This time of the year, it’s not so much about the Mondays. It’s about the Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. The days are cold. It’s dark when I wake up, and it’s dark before I’ve even started making dinner. That fun, carefree “it’s summer, lets kick back in the sunshine and have some fun” feeling is replaced with dreary winter doldrums. I start to feel isolated, I start to feel apathetic. I start to feel like a huge loser for still not having a real job. I start to feel like a waste of human matter. And one big D starts to eclipse the other big D. Granted, this can (and does) hit any time of year - but autumn always seems a little bit worse.
This year, these Fall blahs are hitting at a particularly hard time. A little over a month ago, we lost my father’s twin brother, who was also my godfather. A little over a week ago, we lost Pete’s grandmother, who was 100 years old and lived on her own in a second-story walkup in Queens until just a couple of months ago. It was easy to believe Grandma would outlive us all, given how amazing she was. On top of that, Pete has been away on business almost every week (although luckily it looks like his business trips are finished for a while), leaving me plenty of time to sulk pathetically without anyone to interrupt my crying jags. It also makes it far too easy to load up on comfort foods instead of cooking healthy, well-balanced dinners for one. Which makes the scale move ever farther upward instead of down. Which makes me feel even worse about myself. Which makes me want more comfort food. Rinse, repeat . . .
So now, I’m supposed to turn it around and tell Tuesday why I’m ready for it. Ummmm . . . . I gotta be honest, I don’t have any answers. I can tell you I dragged myself off of the couch yesterday to go out for a run with Pete, and I’ll make myself get on the treadmill today. I can tell you I’ve planned a week of healthy, home-cooked dinners and after I hit “Publish” I’ll go buy the ingredients for them. I can tell you I’ll work hard on being a good advocate - with my blog, with other Social Media, with my volunteer JDRF work, with Diabetes Awareness Month, and with any other opportunities that come along. But I can’t promise I’ll feel any less isolated. I can’t promise I’ll feel like less of a loser. I can’t promise I’ll figure out any answers. All I can promise is that I’ll try.
This post was written as part of NHBPM – 30 health posts in 30 days: http://bit.ly/vU0g9J