Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Toast . . . .

ToastI believe Diabetes Burnout is a real thing, and I’ve had it many times.  But right now I’m not there.  It’s definitely not smooth sailing, but I’m not burnt out.  I guess maybe I’m lightly toasted.

When I’m burnt, I don’t count my carbs.  I bolus random amounts where the Guess in my SWAG is more Wild Ass than Scientific.  Pre-bolus is replaced with bolus while eating.  Testing happens about twice a day, if I’m lucky, only so I can calibrate my CGM.  None of that is happening now.  I’m counting and testing and pre-bolusing.  I’m not burnt.

So what tells me I’m toasted?  Well, when my CGM rings a high or low alarm, I immediately yell “Fuck you, just fuck right the fuck off”.  (But if my mom is reading this, I mean that I say “Oh gee, gosh darn fiddle dee dee”.  Sorry Mom.)  During the day, I don’t bother treating a low until I really feel the low symptoms - pretending that I’m not hypo-unaware.  And during the night, I might dip into the 40s before I feel motivated enough to leave my bed and eat something.  Yes, I’m testing, but I’m starting to forgo a finger-stick here and there in favor of bolusing off my sensor if I know it’s been spot-on.  Yup, not burnt, but definitely getting pretty toasty.

I’m hoping by acknowledging that I’m firmly between the red coils of the toaster, I can pop myself out before I’m fully burnt.  Maybe I need to take a “Diabetes Day Off”, kind of like a Wallow Day but with less wallow and depression (since I’m not quite there yet) and more just giving myself a break for a day.  Will that turn the heat down and keep me from getting too crispy?  Any other ideas to halt the toasting?


  1. Great analogies ("SWAG" and "red coils")! Also, I never knew you had that kind of reaction to your CGM... glad I never cut you off in traffic.

    I've definitely been there. I've spent years there. I hope it gets better soon. Take the victories where you can, and mitigate the bad days so they're not too bad. Also, I would say... laugh a little. Regardless, I support you... no conditions.

  2. Toasted... nicely put. Feeling that way some myself. When I get to that point, I find that sometimes just mixing up my routine a bit helps get me back -- from unhooking my CGM for a day or two, or even taking a pump break for a bit to get my mind re-thinking about insulin, dosing, etc.

  3. Love the name of your blog, in life we often learn how to overcome


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