I love the bright open waiting room at my endo’s office.
So there I was, weight and blood pressure taken (both are higher than I’d like) and pump information uploaded. Paperwork for a new 530G with Enlite filled out. A new script for my blood pressure medication electronically sent. We turned to my labs results and pump reports. Liver and kidney tests are perfect. Cholesterol is excellent. Vitamin D is finally in a good range. And then . . . . . my A1C . . . .. hmmmmmm. We take a look at the blood sugar graphs from the pump and CGM. Hmmmmmmm. Mostly good. We discuss some of the big spikes and both agree that they don’t warrant any basal changes - just some tighter carb counting and acknowledgement that hormones throw my overnight numbers out of whack for a few days every month. We agree that those highs aren’t too much of a problem. The real concern during this appointment is the lows. Lots of lows, especially between 2 a.m. and 4 a.m.
This all leads to a sentence I never ever though I’d type. My A1C is too low. Sounds impossible, right? Sounds like a fantasy. It’s not. After decades of beating myself up for having a high A1C, of working so hard to bring it down and feeling like I always failed, I now have to worry because it’s too low. And it feels like just as big a failure as my too high A1Cs. It means I spend way too much time with hypoglycemic blood sugars. It means my health is at risk - perhaps not from the complications I was threatened with during those years of highs, but with the fact that lows can stress my body, specifically my heart.
So here I go again. Instead of working to bring down the highs, I need to focus on avoiding lows. I’ll be honest - it’s completely frustrating. It feels like no matter how hard I try, it’s never enough. I’m chasing a delicate balance I’m not sure I can ever achieve. I still care and I’ll still work hard, but my goodness it is exhausting.