Wednesday, May 25, 2011

In need of a reboot . . . .

I seem to be in a bit of a funk.  I’m not Depressed.  (At least, I don’t think I am.)  I’m just kind of indifferent.  Everything seems like it will take more energy than it’s worth giving.  Even my usual OCD-SparklyClean house is looking a bit dusty.  It just doesn’t seem worth the effort to bother though.

This little funk has also seeped into my diabetes life.  Again, I wouldn’t say I’m dealing with Diabetes Burnout.  It’s more like Diabetes Indifference.  Basically, I’m getting sloppy.  I’m not testing nearly as often as I usually do.  Instead of planning out a meal, I find myself SWAGing a bolus and then grazing until I think I’ve eaten enough carbs.  If my CGM beeps, sometimes I’m treating without first confirming the reading with a finger stick.  The batteries in my poor food scale are dead.

rebootI guess what I really need is a Diabetes Reboot.  I need to reload everything and start fresh.  I need to get back to those good habits.  I have started exercising (yet again) so that is at least one small step in the right direction.  (Although the result has been lows in epic proportions that I can’t quite get a handle on - even when I measure precisely instead of SWAGing - but that is a topic for another post.)  But the rest?  Well, I wish it was as easy as rebooting my computer.  I wish I had that magic button to power my D-Routine down and boot it back up, all zippy and ready to go.

Do you ever go through bouts of indifference?  Ever feel like you need to reboot and start fresh?  How do you find your motivation when you just don’t feel like investing the energy?


  1. This is me right now. I so indifferent to the bg readings CJ is getting. No matter how dilligent I am. Ive literally thrown my hands up and said 'WHATEVER!'. Unfortunately, CJ is not even into his first full month. Oy vey.

  2. I'm with you Karen. I cleaned house like a maniac yesterday and went for a walk to try to force myself out of my funk. Too much work and no play was my issue. Working on it! Good luck to you. :)

  3. I know what you're talking about. The end of the semester is getting close and I have so many exams that I just can't find the energy to deal with diabetes the way I would like to - with precision and systematically. Usually I get home late and hungry and instead of planning my meal I just grab some leftovers, not necessarily healthy.
    I'm not tired of diabetes but being exhausted from other things going on in life makes it harder to dig up motivation and energy to take care of diabetes.
    Looking forward to getting more sleep and waking up with the enthusiasm for controlling diabetes I used to have :-)
    I wonder if this is a step between normal situation and diabetes burnout or if it is only a natural thing that happens to us diabetics when sometimes things are over our heads ...

  4. This has been me for a long time. I blame the fact that I am now on medication for anxiety and every month my doctor increases the dosage so every month I am dealing with new side effects and symptoms. That's exhausting. I went through the motions for a long time doing only what was absolutely necessary in a day.

    The times I snapped out of the funk were when I tried to do something creative. Usually something I hadn't done in a while like scrapbooking.

    Have you been knitting? Maybe you could challenge yourself with a different knitting project. Or buy the steam cleaner I convinced you to get! For me seeing things get really clean can be a liberating feeling. Deep cleaning will do it if I'm burned out on daily house maintanence.

    Good luck. You're on the right track with exercise. Hang in there with the lows. They'll even out soon enough and you'll feel fabulous for doing something positive for yourself and your diabetes.


  5. I totally get this. I feel like school has ended, and now I'm not sure how to make sense of our days...soon the desert heat will become unbearable...and I can tell that I need a swift kick in the arse to keep things going around here.

    I think you should come visit AZ for a weekend :) And you don't even have to clean my house...unless you want to, of course!

  6. I totally see it. I always like to start from the beginning, and I usually do it with a brand new day i.e. a new day = new beginning.

    Sports all around is my advice. Endorphine (the sweat hormone) is excreted and you have that inner voice of satisfaction.You can afterwards even treat yourself every once in a while, why not?

    All the best

  7. How is this for a plan:
    - Each year you have DBW
    - The following week you just take as close to a D vacation as you can. You have full permission to do nothing other than keep yourself safe - otherwise numbers don't mater.
    - The next week, roll up the sleeves and get back to it.

    Have I lost my mind???

  8. I hear you - I think the incredibly wet and dreary spring is partially to blame.

    As for getting energized about dealing with the D - are you planning to attend TCOYD Albany next month?

  9. I'm right there with you sister! It's like you work and work and work and never get a break from diabetes. We're all bound to hit a wall of diabetes indifference from time to time - and that indifference overflows into the rest of our lives.
    I find that starting to move and forcing myself to get crap done really helps!
    As does knowing that I'm not alone ;)

  10. More often than I would like to admit. Can D parents get burn out too?

  11. When you figure out how to successfully re-boot, please share with the rest of us. The truth is this chronic $#!t really rots and it's hard to keep going with the routine without any end in sight. Hopefully, something will come along that kind of forces us into keeping up with it (I rely on these invisible forces of nature sometimes myself)!

  12. Ummm... Hell yeah. Sadly, I'm there moften than I would like. You are not alone!

  13. I've totally experienced this. I usually look at it similar to Lorraine. Sometimes I just need a break. So, I maybe don't test as often and am not as accurate with the carb counting and stuff like you're saying. I don't know... sometimes I feel like if you just go with it for a bit it resolves faster than trying to fight it tooth and nail. It's like your mind is telling you it needs a rest and I figure it's good to listen to your body.

    I hope that you're feeling a bit better about stuff soon <3

  14. D is relentless. I think we all need a reboot from time to time.

    I like Lorraine's plan. :)

    I'm a bit OCD about the house too. Always makes me feel better in all areas of my life when my house is clean and in order. Maybe tidy up the house and you'll feel a little re-energized?

  15. Been there...just coming out of it. An "Endo appt." to "wipe the slate clean" so-to-speak helps me. I take Joe out for Burgers/fries/and a milk shake and then we get to work.


  16. Oh karen

    Im so sorry. THey say a habit takes 21 days to form. So I try to find something that is do able for 21 days. I ve started walking again or riding my bike. I have to get moving more!!! Im much too chubby. Maybe we can motivate each other??
    Like a healthy swap>??
    We could mail each other something in a month, or somethings that relate to being healthier......
    we could ask each other questions...
    maybe you dont 'have the energy for this is just a thought. let me know
    love to kc

  17. Karen,
    It sounds like PMS to me. But maybe that's just my PMS speaking. It's the Diabetes Doldrums. I'm hoping you found your way out - I just read your next post and at least you're using your CGM! :) Sending thoughts of support and strength your way.


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