People have told you this before, right? Diabetes is easy. All you have to do is make sure you don’t eat any desserts. Have an insulin pump? Well then, diabetes is even easier. You don’t have to do anything - the pump does it all for you.
I’ve denied it too long. I’ve come to see the light. Diabetes is easy. Heck, it’s like a simple math equation. In fact, let’s make what happened to me on Friday into a math equation to show just how easy diabetes really is:
Karen is hungry and would like to have a bowl of cereal for lunch. (Karen is not going to have sugar-coated-sugar like Cookie Crisp or Cap'n Crunch. Karen will have Kashi GoLean Crunch.) Karen is starting with a blood sugar of 60. Karen has also done 30 minutes on the treadmill and put in a brand new infusion site. What will Karen’s blood sugar be 2 hours after consuming the cereal? Please remember to show your work.
Blood sugar 60 (low)
+ cereal (high)
- exercise (low)
- new site (low)
- a boatload of insulin (low)
- a 2 hour 130% basal (low)
= a LOW post meal blood sugar. Right?
WRONG!! The correct answer is:
Blood sugar = 404 x y
where x = large ketones and y = huge amount of diabetes guilt over eating cereal. (That’s right, GUILT over eating a bowl of cereal!!!)
Awww “for fuck sake” (hi Reyna!!), I calculated that one all wrong. And I was a whiz at math in high school and college. Maybe diabetes isn’t so easy after all.