This isn’t Diabetes Burnout. At least this isn’t what burnout looks like for me. But there is definitely something going on. And I’ve realized it’s best described as Diabetes Tune-out.
When I’m in burnout, things get really sloppy. I swag bolus more than I carb count. I dose off my CGM rather than doing finger sticks. I don’t pre-bolus. I graze and randomly dose. I take CGM breaks. I feel really really aggravated with diabetes and I just want to ignore it. (I don’t ignore it . . . . because I want to live . . . . . but when I’m burnt I really really want to ignore it. And maybe I ignore bits and pieces of diabetes.)
None of that is going on here. But something is. I just don’t want to think about diabetes. I don’t want to write about it. Or Tweet or Facebook. Or comment on blogs. Or participate in #dsma. Or do all those other things I usually love to do. Instead I’ve just wanted to tune out. And so, I have.
Instead, I’ve been cooking and baking and working on the house. I’ve been gardening in the sunshine. I’ve been shopping and going out for cocktails. I’ve been texting my friends with pictures of my cat sticking out her tongue. I’ve been doing fun stuff, quietly and without tying it to diabetes. In a way, I’ve been sticking out my tongue at diabetes.
I realize that Diabetes Tune-Out is maybe something I need to let happen every so often. I think (and hope) it might be the break I need to fend off Diabetes Burnout. But today, I felt like writing a post. And I’m looking forward to participating in #dsma tonight. I’m ready to tune back in.