Thursday, September 17, 2015
I typed “depressed” into the search bar of the free clip art site I use and this image came up. It’s called “Sad Banana”. I actually think the banana looks more scared than sad, but overall it was ridiculous enough to make me smile. So I had to use it. And if this opening paragraph isn’t a huge spoiler to my post today, I don’t know what is.
I’ve felt off all summer long. I thought I just needed a break. I thought I was in a bit of a summer slump, trading motivation for vacation. And not just from blogging and DOC stuff. From life in general. I’ve just felt so blah about absolutely everything these days. I thought I was lonely. I thought Pete’s new job (after another promotion) was taking a toll on both of us. I thought it was a million things, but not depression.
Guess what? I couldn’t have been more wrong. Isn’t it funny how when you’re deep down in depression, it can sometimes be hard to see it for what it is? I’m not tired. I’m not unmotivated. I’m not stressed. I'm not lonely. Actually, I AM all those things . . . .but so much more. I’m just one sad banana. Yup, I'm depressed.
So now that I realize it, what is next? Well, I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and move toward that happy fruit bowl. I think writing this post is a start. At least, I hope it is.