Friday, September 13, 2013

Guy at the Bar . . . .

GuyAtBarDear Guy at the Bar,

I’m not sure if my friends noticed you eavesdropping on our conversation, but you were in my direct line of view from my seat at the dinner table.  I could tell you were listening in, but we were in a public restaurant so to me it wasn’t a big deal.  We had already chatted about personal stuff like a new boyfriend, visits to college, and plans for a new kitchen.  But as our talk turned to diabetes I did notice you were listening in.  You listened at we talked about glucagon.  You listened to us talk about DKA.  You listened as we discussed new CGMs and exercise.  You listened as we talked about our last support group meeting and you listened as we got down to the business of planning our next one.  I didn’t really  mind - for all I knew, you could have been interested because you had a diabetes connection too.

As we hunkered down over our photocopied pages of topic ideas and discussion suggestions, you finally leaned in to ask us “Are you all teachers?”.  We all kind of snickered - I did so because I certainly don’t feel expertly qualified to teach anything to anybody, I’m just trying to fake make my way through this life as best I can.  After we told you we weren’t teachers you asked “Well, what kind of meeting are you having?”.  My friend to the right said “Ladies, do you mind if I share?’ and none of us did.  Hey, advocate when and where the opportunity arises, right?  Except that’s not exactly how it went down.

When my friend told you we were planning a T1 diabetes support group, you said “Oh, you are all nurses.”  We explained that no, we weren’t nurses, we were people with and parents of children with diabetes.  (In fact, our table of five included four people with diabetes and two parents of kids with diabetes.)  And then it happened.  You launched into a tirade of how the problem with our country is obesity.  I think we were somewhat taken aback and stunned into silence - I know I was.  We tried to explain some facts to you but it was clear you weren’t listening.  When my friend told you that she was exactly where she is supposed to be on the BMI you blatantly ignored her, even though it was you who had brought up BMI in the first place.  You said something about making your living in insurance - trying to keep people from having to pay too much or something like that.  In all honesty, I’m not really sure what you were blathering on about because by then I had pretty much tuned you out.  I think we all had, because it was clear you had no interest in anything we tried to tell you.  So we turned back to our notes and continued our meeting without giving you another glance.

It made me sad to realize something I know to be true, but luckily don’t run into all that often . . . . . .

sometimes people are just jerks.

Signed,
An offended girl who thinks next time you should mind your own business and leave others alone with theirs.

16 comments:

  1. I can only hope that the jerk at the bar had something that you ladies aid sink in at some point afterward.

    It's hard to deal with people who aren't open to learning things because they have taken the wrong information to be truth. Unfortunately for me, one of those people is a sibling, who believes that my diabetes is 100% my fault for being "skinny fat."

    There are still people out there who believe the world is flat...

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  2. Oh holy shit how I wish I had been there with you guys ... what an asshole. :(

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  3. ughh I just got so angry reading this! It's shocking how rude and ignorant people can be! I'm glad that you guys just tuned him out, I guess sometimes it's good to pick your battles and recognize people who are a lost cause. So frustrating thought I'm sure!

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  4. Wow, that's sadly not shocking. He sounds like a know it all. Still I can't believe how arrogant he was. Geeeezzzz

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  5. Sometimes, advocacy happens in the least likely places, at the least likely times. Let's hope he doesn't have to learn about all of this firsthand.

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  6. I laughed out loud when I read the title of your post! I have been thinking about that jerk since Wednesday. Had I realized he was listening on our conversation, I would have disliked him much sooner. I chalked him up to a lost cause when he uttered his foolish response about BMI, especially since his BMI looked like a similar lost cause.
    Aside from his annoying interruption, the evening was spectacular.

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  7. I want to tell them "your ignorance is showing" and let them try to figure it out.

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  8. Wow. Someone had a raging case of the stupids.

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  9. I heard a jerk like that on a radio talk show spouting on and on....

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  10. Love your label on this post: "UGLY." That about sums up his attitude. Thanks for sharing! jb

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  11. Great post. He was ignorant, but luckily we didn't let him spoil our evening out!

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  12. Frankly, you ladies were too nice. If I were there, he would have wished he hadn't been eavesdropping and being a douchebag.

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  13. Wow, I didn't see the story going that way when I first started reading. Why would he express himself like that to a bunch of strangers!? Craziness-thanks for sharing your story!

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  14. It has taken some time to get it published but I wanted to thank you for the inspiration for my latest post on the Diabetes UK blog site for which I am a regular blogger. It is here: http://blogs.diabetes.org.uk/?p=2509. I hope you don't mind me referencing your story: one or two exta readers can't be a bad thing even though we are the other side of The Pond!

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