Yuck, low blood sugars. They sure aren’t fun, but I have to admit, they usually don’t bother me too much. I understand why PWDs would feel afraid of being low, but I that fear has never crept in on me.
Until last night . . .
Pete was away on an overnight work trip to Baltimore. Yesterday afternoon it was time for a site change, and I noticed afterwards my blood sugar was stuck in the 180s and wouldn’t budge. Even cranking my basal up to 150% for a few hours only brought it down to the high 160s. I also started to feel an odd achiness near the new site. So I finally decided it was time to pull it. While the cannula didn’t come out kinked, it was at an extreme and odd angle. I knew I had probably found my high-problem.
I want to note here that, to the best of my knowledge, I did everything right. I did not rage bolus a correction to bring myself down. In fact, after putting in my new site I had a pre-bed snack because I know changing my site almost always brings on a low. Right before I went to sleep, my blood sugar was a happy 101.
Less than two hours later, my CGM low alarm woke me up. My brain felt fuzzy and I was very sweaty. I fumbled for my meter and tested, and a 30 flashed before me. I grabbed the juice box on my nightstand and gulped it down. A few minutes later, my mind began to clear - and the low fear hit me. I started to realize just how low 30 really was. (Yes, in my low haze that hadn’t been clear to me, but now it was.) And knowing I was all alone for the duration of the night scared me a lot. So I went downstairs and ate a huge spoonful of frosting. I couldn’t have cared less about over-treating - in fact, I wanted to over-treat!! When my high alarm rang later and showed double arrows pointing up, I was glad. This may have been the first time I was glad to see double up arrows. But to me, they signaled safety and confidence that I could go back to sleep.
I can now honestly say I have really felt “low fear”. I know Pete will be back home and sleeping beside me tonight, and that will help it subside a bit. But I’m left with an even bigger appreciation for my D-friends who live on their own. You are brave and strong in a way I’m not. You rock and I admire you!!