Four Lows, A High and A Snuggly Cat . . .

Last night I slept without a sensor.  I’ll be traveling later in the week and delayed inserting my new sensor so its life will span the entire time I’m sleeping solo in a hotel room.  I don’t know how diabetes inherently knows that I’m lacking the safely net of my sensor, but somehow it does.  And it picks that time to go completely off the rails.

Pete and I are working our way through The West Wing on Netflix, and we settled in to watch another episode from Season 2 before bed.  I did a finger-stick to make sure things were good.


They were.  But I did another about an hour before bed to see which way my numbers were heading.


Ugh.  While 73 isn’t too terrible a number for me in general, the fact that it flashed up an hour before bedtime, and that I had dropped 20 points in 30 minutes, was not what I was hoping for.  So I had four fruit Tootsie Rolls and we watched the end of the episode.  An hour later I was ready for one last finger-stick and some much needed sleep.


Diabetes had another plan.  54 is an unsafe number for me at any time, and the fact that I continued to drop after treating was troubling.  So I ate three Orange Cream Glucolifts (yum) and brushed my teeth.  Then I played with K.C. until the 15 minute mark had passed so I could confirm I was back up and finally sleep.


Nope, diabetes was really laughing at me now.  My swearing woke Pete up, who saw the 43 and headed downstairs to get me some juice.  Juice isn’t really my low treat of choice, but it always brings me up and works very fast when I’m really low.  So juice it was, and a good amount at that.  My only symptom during this long bout of lows was some hefty anxiety, which melted away.  So I brushed my teeth again and drifted off to sleep.  Until I woke up two hours later with my mind nagging me to finger-stick again.


Okay, WTF??????  I didn’t want to wake Pete again so I was much quieter when I swore.  I knew I probably needed more than just the Glucolift on my nightstand.  So I stumbled downstairs, where I ate two Peeps horded from Easter, some Dots and four crackers with crunchy peanut butter.  I went back upstairs to brush my teeth a third time, during which I dropped the toothpaste and knocked over a cup and ended up waking poor Pete up anyway.  I played on my phone a bit until I was confident it was safe to sleep.  And it was a nice three hours of rest until K.C. meowed me awake to give her a snuggle.  She does this several times each night.  She’s very sweet and loving, which means I’m  generally very tired.  But in this case, I was glad she got lonely, because as she settled in next to me and I began petting her I could tell things weren’t good.  The palms of my hands and the soles of my feet felt like sandpaper.  My lips felt like they would start cracking at any minute.  And my mouth was so so dry and I was so so thirsty.


Yeah.  I don’t even know what to say.  I took a correction plus one unit, as is usually needed when I find myself over 250.  I got up yet again to have some water and check for ketones (which thankfully were negative, so at least one thing went right last night).  When the alarm went off two hours later, I was still 207 but with enough active insulin working to bring me back into range.  However, I don’t think there is enough active caffeine working to rid me of feeling like I’ve been run over by a truck.

Okay, diabetes.  You won the battle last night.  But tonight we spar again, and I’m really hoping to win this time.  Because I really need to sleep . . . .

Time Stands Still . . . .

Isn’t it funny how time can seem to pass at such varied speeds?  The weekends zip by in a blink while weekdays pass much more slowly.  Today I’m willing to put money on the fact that winter is three times as long as any other season.  (Yeah, I know that isn’t true, but as I look out the window and see everything coated in ice it sure feels true.)  And, of course, there are many times when diabetes certainly makes time crawl.  Like when?  Well, I’m glad you asked.

Pre-bolusing!  I try to dose my insulin about 20 minutes before I eat.  And oh my gosh, those 20 minutes take FOREVER to pass.

Coming down from a high!  Ugh, high blood sugars.  Sleepy, achy, thirsty, syrupy. sluggish torture.  Even the fastest of our fast acting insulin can’t provide relief quickly enough.  And the whole time I’m trying to talk myself out of rage-bolusing, which will only result in a ride on the glucocoaster.  And I hate rollercoasters of any kind!

Starting a new sensor!  It takes two hours after inserting a new sensor before you can enter the first calibration to get it up and running.  In those two hours it’s important to keep blood sugars as stable as possible.  Which is actually kind of laughable, because, you know, diabetes doesn’t really play that way.  Suddenly very hungry?  Sorry, wait two hours.  Feel yourself dropping low (which, ironically, you probably would’ve caught sooner if your sensor was running)?  Well, you have to treat, but now you’d better wait even longer before putting in that first sensor calibration.  Oh the things that happen in those two interminable hours.

Coming up from a low!  Or, more fairly, coming up  from a nasty low.  You know the ones?  Shaky, sweaty, confused, feeling like you are going to keel over any minute.  I really despise those lows, and they usually seem to drag on forever!

Are you with me on this?  What other instances have I missed when diabetes makes time absolutely crawl?

How to Lose my Mind . . .

Fasting blood sugar - fine.  Bolus for and consume coffee.

Pre-breakfast blood sugar - fine.  Pre-bolus for breakfast smoothie.  Make and drink breakfast smoothie.  Blood sugar remains stable.

Two and a half hours after drinking breakfast smoothie - CGM high alarm.  Test to confirm, and yes, I am high.  I figure it’s the smoothie, even though it seems odd that the spike didn’t start sooner.  Whatever.  Take the 1 unit suggested correction and head the the grocery store.  The grocery store is a drag, but I’m secretly happy to go because grocery shopping always brings my blood sugar down.

Come home from grocery shopping, put everything away, dust the entire house.  Still high.  Hmmm, that’s odd.  Correct again and set a higher temp basal for good measure.

CGM high alarm repeat is set to 1 hour, meaning that it will alarm once an hour as long as I remain high.  All afternoon it continues to blare hour upon hour upon hour, despite continuing to up my basal bit by bit.  At 4:00 I finally admit that the 200+ blood sugar I’ve been stuck with all day can’t be due to the smoothie I drank at 8:30.  Decide to change my site, and am happy to see that it’s also time to open a new bottle of insulin.  Yay for eliminating two variable at once!

Insert new site, but it feels “weird” going in.  Not sure exactly what I mean by that, but my gut tells me something isn’t quite right.  Already frustrated enough that I haven’t been able to make my blood sugar budge all day, so immediately pull the new site and replace it again.  Then take a 20 minute walk, confident that I’ve now got this under control.

Two hours later blood sugar is STILL the same and that confidence I felt is replaced by complete exasperation.  Curse the fact that I keep forgetting to check for ketones, and give in to the temptation to rage bolus.  When even that doesn’t help, decide it’s time to do a third site change.  Pull the practically new site and it looks fine, but a few small drops of blood dribble out of my body.  Insert new site yet again and call husband and cry.

Finally make it into the 190s.  Pretty sure it’s a bad idea but decide to eat dinner anyway.  Eat a half portion and test again to see that I’m in the 120s.  Yay!!  Eat the other half of my dinner!

Watch a little TV with Pete.  We chat a bit and then he says “Do you think you're low?  You kind of sound like you're low?”.  I’m sure I’m not low but agree to test before getting up to wash the dishes.  41.  WTF.  (Also, what is this "sound low" symptom Pete can spot??)  Must be falling fast because CGM shows me in the 80s, but soon after the rapid down arrows appear.  Eat but still feel like I’m going to die.  Curl up in a ball on the couch while Pete is stuck doing the dishes.  At this moment, I feel like I absolutely can not live one more day with diabetes.

There are many hard things about life with diabetes, and this is one that people outside of the diabetes bubble probably just don’t understand.  I’d stick a million needles a day in my body - that pain only lasts for a moment.  But the emotional pain of trying every single thing you can think of to get your blood sugar back into range and nothing works?  Knowing that people think diabetes is no big deal because you just need to take your insulin and not eat sugar and that’s it?  On days like this one, these are the parts of diabetes that will truly make me lose my flippin’ mind.

It’s Temporary . . . . .

I’m not a fan of winter.  I’d almost say I hate winter, but when I think of moving out of New England to somewhere warm year round I get the feeling I’d miss the changing seasons.  And as vile as snow is, I really love a white Christmas.  I guess it would be nice if it could snow on Christmas Eve, all melt away by Boxing Day and spring could arrive on New Year’s Day.  I could live with that kind of winter.

I love snowmen too.  Unfortunately, you need snow to make a snowman . . . .

I have a feeling this winter will be long and rough.  At least for me.  Why?  Because it’s only October and I’ve already been sick twice.  That’s right, once in September and once over this past weekend.  At first I thought it was allergies (both times) but I’m more inclined to think I was hit with colds.  Especially on Monday when I couldn’t get my blood sugar out of the 200s, even thought I hadn’t eaten.  Bolus after bolus did nothing, and I pulled a perfectly good site thinking it might be crimped or something.  (It wasn’t.)

It’s times like these, when my body is fighting germs and my blood sugars are out of whack, that I rely on a Temporary Basal to get me through.  I upped my basal rate a little at a time until I found the rate that finally helped my blood sugar settle down.  This time it was 150%, which I needed to keep in place for 24 hours.  Next time it might be 125% or 140% or 170%.  I’ve found the key for me is to just keep tinkering around until I find the temp basal that works for that day.

Today I’m feeling much better and my blood sugars and basal rate are both back to normal.  (Not that the word “normal” ever really applies when dealing with blood sugar . . . )  But it’s really nice to know I can turn to a temporary basal when I need it.  Speaking of temporary, it’s also nice to know that word also applies to winter weather.

Exhausted . . . . .

I feel very lucky that the people in my life do their best to understand how tough diabetes can be sometimes and to support me when I need it.  But no matter how hard they try, I feel like they won’t ever really understand how exhausting diabetes can be - both physically and mentally.



Lately it’s been the physical exhaustion that has been hitting hard.  I don’t know if it’s because I’m getting older or what, but lows seem to sap my energy more than ever these days.  Especially those sticky lows that hang on even after being treated, and those very low lows that come in an aggressive whirlwind.  It gets harder and harder to shake them off and continue with my day, when all I want to do is curl up and nap.

Last night brought my exhaustion to a whole new level.  My low alarm woke me in the middle of the night and a finger stick confirmed its claim.  So I treated the low and settled in to go back to sleep . . . . but that was not happening.  My mind raced.  I was tired but just couldn’t fall asleep.  I went downstairs to find K.C. but she was too busy with whatever kittens do in the middle of the night to come cuddle with me.  I got my phone and read my entire Facebook feed, then tried to go back to sleep again but it still wasn’t happening.  I played stupid games on my phone.  I stared at the ceiling and listened to the air conditioner cycle on and off.  I listened to Pete snore.  It took several long  hours before I finally managed to fall back to sleep.  And this morning?  There is just not enough coffee in the world.

Sometimes I wish people on the outside understood just how physically exhausting diabetes can be.   And that my endo could write a prescription for naps!!

Intuition . . . .

I believe that sometimes, as people with diabetes, we just know.  Intuition screams at us.  Unfortunately, sometimes I don’t listen.  That’s exactly what happened yesterday.

Somewhere around the middle of the day, my blood sugars got stuck.  They weren’t high high, but they were higher than normal.  They hovered in the 170s, even after the treadmill and dusting and vacuuming the whole house and cleaning the bathroom.  Corrections did nothing to budge the number.



Here’s the thing.  170 isn’t a terrible number for me.  I had under-bolused a snack before the treadmill so I wouldn’t go low.  I had eaten dinner.  I had a bit of dessert.  All justifications for that stuck blood sugar, but my intuition was saying otherwise.  My intuition said my site had crapped out early.  It was scheduled to be changed this morning.  But it was in my abdomen, and in the past my ab sites haven’t lasted the full three days.  However, I didn’t listen to that intuition and instead I went to bed.

About a half hour later, my Rise Rate alarm rang.  And my blood sugar hit the 200s.  And I knew it was time to listen to my intuition and change out my site.  I dragged myself out of bed, turned on the light (much to the dismay of my sleeping husband) and did what I should have done a few hours ago.  One new site and one correction bolus later this happened.



Not only did I come down from the 200s, but I came all the way down to a gross low and a 2 a.m. juice box.

I’d love to say I learned my lesson.  I wish I could swear that next time I’ll listen to my intuition and get that site issue taken care of right away instead of going to bed hoping things will work themselves out.  But right now, my intuition is saying that next time I’ll probably make the same mistakes again.  I guess I just get so stubborn about pulling a site early, and I guess I just haven’t quite learned yet.
 
Am I the only one, or does your stubborn streak drown out your intuitions too?

Sugary Beauty . . .

I’m a little bit addicted to Sephora.  I’m shamelessly girly and I can’t help it.  I’m a Beauty Insider so I often find Sephora emails in my inbox.  And the one that arrived the other day really got me thinking.  It featured a line called  Fresh Sugar.

Photo Credit: www.fresh.com

Beauty products made with sugar sound pretty luxurious to me.  But I worry about the impacts, diabetes-wise.  Would regular applications of lip balms and glosses full of sugar cause a spike?  Would I need to bolus for the carbs I am absorbing?  (Am I the only one who finds thoughts of bolusing for lip gloss completely ridiculous?)  And would using the hand creams or washing with the soaps before a finger stick leave traces of sugar that throw off my meter reading?

I think I’ll play it safe and stick with my cute eos lip balms and my Gold Bond Ultimate.  How about you, would you be willing to give them a try?

Saturday Snapshots - #DBlogWeek Day 6

It may be the weekend, but Diabetes Blog Week is still going strong.  We officially have over 200 bloggers signed up to participate.  I just want to send out a quick thank you to the DOC for all of the enthusiasm and support this week, and for all the time spent writing posts, reading posts by others, and leaving comments.  I’m guessing I’m not the only one who has been wishing for a housekeeper and personal chef this week?

Today it’s time to share some pictures for Saturday Snapshots.  Back for another year, let’s show everyone what life with diabetes looks like!  With a nod to the Diabetes 365 project, let’s grab our cameras again and share some more d-related pictures.  Post as many or as few as you’d like.  Feel free to blog your thoughts on or explanations of your pictures, or leave out the written words and let the pictures speak for themselves.

The subtitle for  my post today is “FORCES BEYOND OUR CONTROL”.  My pictures are proof that things can go wrong through no fault of our own.  For example, a couple of Fridays ago, my high alarm went off after dinner.  I thought nothing of it, because I’d had a sore throat all week and my high alarm rang every time I ate, no matter what I ate or how aggressively I bolused.  I cleared the alarm and Pete and I settled in to watch some T.V.  As usual, I fell asleep on the couch.  But when I woke up a few hours later, things were anything but usual.  My CGM showed a blood sugar over 300 with a rapid up arrow.  I grumbled when Pete suggested I change my site - I had just put that site in that afternoon and had a low afterward so I was sure the site was fine.  But I changed it anyway, and it turns out the site was anything but fine.  The cannula looked normal when I pulled it out, but I looked down to see blobs of blood all over the floor.  And blood streaming down my leg.


Definitely not what I had planned for a Friday night.  After a correction by syringe, a ketone check (medium), lots of water and a blood sugar that topped off in the 400s, things finally started to settle down.  I checked every hour until I made it into the 200s around 1 a.m.  Knowing my CGM would alert me if I didn’t continue back down into range, I went to bed exhausted.

Then there was a mishap just a couple of days ago.  Around 3:30 in the morning my CGM high alarm went off and again the screen showed rapid up arrows.   When I got up to use the bathroom I felt my pump tubing smack against my leg, but the place it hit was far too low.  You know why?


Because apparently the tubing was no longer connected to my site!  I’ve never seen anything like this happen before (although I’m sure some of you have?).  A 3:30 a.m. site change is never much fun, but I was thankful that my CGM helped me find this problem while my blood sugar was only in the 200s and my ketones were only “small”.

When you are dealing with diabetes, sometimes doing everything right doesn’t matter one bit.  Sometimes things will just go to crap no matter what.  We just need to learn to roll with the punches, adjust, and keep going.


You can find more diabetes-related pictures on the Saturday Snapshots - Saturday 5/17 Link List.

What is Diabetes Blog Week? Click here for an explanation, and check out the list of participants over here.

Breakfast Hates Me . . . .

Lately I’m seeing a huge post-breakfast spike every day.


I can eat foods that never spiked me before, and still I spike.  I can pre-bolus earlier than I ever have before, and I still spike.  I can eat less than I usually do, and still I spike.  It’s getting really aggravating.  So I’m looking for your best breakfast tips!  What do you eat for breakfast?  What is your breakfast bolus strategy?  Have your breakfast blood sugars suddenly changed for no obvious reason, and what did you do to fix it?  Help!!

Lucky Moment . . . .

My morning routine always starts with a humungous cup of coffee and a bolus of insulin to cover it.  An hour or so later, my bladder is beyond full and it’s time for a bathroom break.  I know . . . . over sharing, but trust me this is relevant.

This morning as I was relieving myself of some coffee I consumed my CGM High Predicted alarm rang.  A quick glance showed me in the 160s and rising fast with one up arrow.   I finished up in the bathroom and started to tuck my pump tubing into my waistband when I got a surprise.  You see, my tubing was not actually connected to me!  After I finished my shower an hour earlier I must not have properly clicked my site connection back together.

Why do I consider this lucky?  After all, I had been without insulin for about an hour, right?  Well, if I hadn’t been in the bathroom when my alarm sounded, I would have simply tested my sugar and bolused a correction . . . . . .which would have likely ended up absorbed into my jeans.  I don’t know how long it would have taken me to realize I wasn’t connected, because this is the first time I can remember something like this happening.  So I’m very lucky that my small bladder placed me in the bathroom with my tubing exposed at the exact moment the high alarm sounded.

There is so much about diabetes that seems like a big heap of bad luck.  So when a bit of good luck comes along, it’s really nice to acknowledge it.  Have you run into any diabetes good luck lately?

Wordless Wednesday - Not Quite . . . .

I’m pretty sure this 295 isn’t what quite what my endo had in mind when we discussed reigning in those frequent lows . . . .

Little Mysteries . . . .

For the past week or so, my blood sugars have been running high.  They weren’t hugely terrible, but mostly between 150 and 200 without a low in sight.  I was also having huge two-up-arrow spikes every time I ate, no matter what I ate and no matter how long I timed my pre-bolus.  I even went so far as to wait for my CGM to throw a “low-predicted” alarm before starting to eat.  It didn’t help one bit.

And then on Sunday, the highs just stopped.  Even during a birthday party I threw for Pete, with lemonade based cocktails and a chocolate peanut butter cake, I hovered in the 50s and needed to have some Starbursts.  It was crazy!

Of course, me being me, I want to know WHY my blood sugars completely misbehaved so I can fix it next time.  After some sleuthing, I’ve got three clues . . .  .

1. I put my site back in my favorite spot - I get great absorption from (and have plenty of real estate for) “ upper-butt” sites.  But I still worry about building up too much scar tissue there, so I try to rotate around sometimes.  My previous two sites had been in my abdomen and upper arm.  I wouldn’t be surprised if neither of those sites worked all that well.
2. Fresh insulin - When I changed my site on Sunday, it was time for a brand new bottle of insulin.  In fact, it was also from a new batch.  When I fill my prescriptions I get three bottles of insulin at a time. It could be my imagination, but often it seems that third bottle doesn’t quite work so well.
3. Girl stuff - I know this is TMI, but my period started on Sunday.  Yeah, happy birthday to my husband.

So those are my clues.  But diabetes makes it hard to be Sherlock Holmes, because I can’t quite solve the mystery.  Was it the site rotation?  The new insulin?  The hormones?  Any combination of the three?  I suppose this will just have to go into the cold case files.

Over-Treater: An Exposé

Created using this cool meme maker I found.

There are many facets of my diabetes routine that could use some improving, but treating lows had never been one of them.  I pretty much had the “low-treat-move on” routine down.  But lately, something has changed.  I’m in a cycle of “low-treat-treat-treat some more-high-correct-correct-correct some more-low again-repeat-repeat-repeat”.  What’s up with that?  It’s time for some in-depth analysis, yes?

After some keen observation and deep-down soul searching, I’ve uncovered two causes of my newly developed over-treating addiction.  Discomfort and fear.  In the past I didn’t mind lows so much.  Sure I felt a bit fuzzy and shaky, but it was fine.  Lately, however, my lows seem to be accompanied by an indescribable feeling that is, for lack of an actual description, downright majorly sucky.  I treat and try to wait it out, but every five minutes feels like five miserable hours.  So instead of re-testing after 15 minutes, I find myself eating a little bit more every five minutes just to make that “OMG make it stop” feeling go away.

You would think uncomfortable and scary would go hand in hand, but for me and my lows that isn’t the case.  Or maybe the fear just over-rides the discomfort . . . . I don’t know . . . . it’s not like I’m thinking all the clearly in that situation.  All I know is lately some lows have been popping up where I feel like my rational thought and state of consciousness are slipping away.  It’s usually when I’m home alone and it always scares the daylights out of me.  It sends me to the kitchen determined to eat anything and everything I can get my hands on.

I bet you can guess where both of these paths lead once the low is gone.  I’m left with a high blood sugar from hell.  I hate to be high.  I really really hate to be high.  So I correct.  And when it doesn’t budge, I start to rage bolus.  And we all know where that leads . . . . .

I guess it’s time to check myself in to Over-Treater Rehab.  I’ve figured out what makes me over-treat and I know what I have to do to stop it.  But come on, when I’m sweaty and shaky and my brain isn’t working right and I feel completely horrible and I’m really scared, calmly eating the correct number of grams feels like the most difficult thing in the world.  I know I should believe I can absolutely do it, but I’m pretty sure I can’t.  And that is a huge part of what makes diabetes so freaking frustrating for me.

(Late) Wordless Wednesday - Sick

The horrible sore throat is bad enough.  But seeing that big spike after I eat, no matter what I eat or how early I pre-bolus?  Sometimes that seems even worse.  (And it makes me as cranky as Jack Skellington.) Being “real-people-sick” with diabetes is a drag.  (It also throws off my week so Wordless Wednesday ends up on Thursday.)

No Days Off . . . . .

I think for me, the hardest thing about diabetes is that there are no days off.  Even if you’re trying to celebrate, say, a birthday weekend.  A weekend that, for several reasons, ends up being particularly crappy can be made even more crappy by diabetes.

I woke up on Sunday another year older and with a high blood sugar that just wouldn’t quit.  If ever there would be a day I’d wish for diabetes to give me a break, it would be on my birthday.  Instead I played “why the eff can’t I get back into range” and wasn’t able to eat a thing until well after 4:00 pm.

In the end, diabetes just likes to remind me that it doesn’t care what is going on or that I'm trying to have a special day.  In the end, it sometimes just wants to remind me that I have to work a little harder.  In the end, it just wants to make it clear that it isn’t giving me a day off.  Happy Birthday?  Well, maybe next year . . . .

Wordless Wednesday - Nope

Every once in a while I manage to convince myself that if I just keep trying, I can figure out the perfect bolus / timing / portion combo to have a bowl of cereal without completely wrecking my blood sugar.

NOPE!

Excuses, Excuses . . . . .

“Regular” people (aka: people without diabetes) can have plenty of reasons for not going to the gym.  Busy schedules, poor sleep, feel like they’re getting sick, or don’t want to disturb the cat on their lap.  (By the way, I’m totally going to start using that last excuse!!)

Clearly she is thrilled that she has to skip the gym because there is a cat on her lap!

When I add diabetes into the mix, I can come up with about a million other reasons not to go to the gym.  For the past couple of weeks the main excuse I was fighting was one that was actually a first for me . . . .

Going to the gym makes me high.

Now I know weight training can push your blood sugars up.  I also know strenuous workouts can push your blood sugar up.  But, for the first time ever, moderate cardio was pushing my blood sugar up (and keeping it there) instead of down.  And I found it frustrating!!

I will give myself a little bit of credit.  I refused to let the fact that going to the gym would lead to an afternoon in the 200s deter me.  I tried upping my basals after my workout was done.  (Didn’t work.)  I tried adding a post-workout bolus into the mix.  (Didn’t work.)  But most importantly, I reasoned it out.  Is it good to spend an afternoon stuck over 200?  No, of course not.  However, is it better to be a couch potato with in-range numbers, or be an active fit person who is working on taming some post-exercise highs?  I decided the second definitely wins out (even if I don’t exactly qualify as active and fit yet).

So the gym is happening.  It’s hard - both physically and “diabetically”.  But it’s happening.  And after my last trip I felt awesome and managed to stay under 200 . . . . .  so I guess I’m getting there.   I’m absolutely determined to keep it up this time.

You know, unless I’m stuck under a sleeping cat or something.

Disruptions . . . . .

It’s been a bad week.  My blood sugars have been all over the place, but mostly high.  I’ve tried early site changes.  I’ve tried opening a fresh bottle of insulin.  I’ve tried lowering my carb intake.  I’ve tried higher temp basal rates.  I’ve been going to the gym.  Starting to exercise (again) usually sends me into a week or two of epic lows, but no.  Nothing seems to work.  Yesterday my CGM went from “low predicted” to “high predicted” from the simple act of making lunch.  Just making lunch, not sampling and snacking as I went, just deciding what to eat and preparing it.  I am so freaking ready to quit this diabetes thing.

My best guess as to what is causing this dia-mess is that my normal routine is completely disrupted this week.  On Sunday, Pete left for a business trip to Berlin and the Netherlands.  I’m lonely.  I miss him.  I’m completely sleep deprived because I tend to be really scared being alone over-night.  (This is less due to diabetes and more due to memories of coming home about 10 years ago to find my house had been broken into.)  Basically, I know I’m being a big baby, but this week has really sucked.  And so have my blood sugars.



As I type this, Pete is here --->
and will be back home to me soon.


It's very frustrating to feel like you're trying your best to do everything right but nothing seems to work.  I can only hope that settling into my normal routine will help my blood sugar settle down too.  I think we are both tired of the disruptions.

The Chicken or The Egg . . . .

Sometimes diabetes reminds me of the age old question “What came first, the chicken or the egg?”.  In diabetes lingo I’m pondering “What came first, the ketones or the crud?”.

Last night I went to another JDRF Type 1 Adult event, and it was fantastic!  (Hopefully I’ll get a post up about it soon . . . . )  While there, I had my favorite salad and some wine.  This particular salad is always a tricky bolus for me, because it contains candied walnuts and a honey dressing.  To make things trickier, sometimes the salad seems loaded with walnuts and at other times it has less (and sometimes Pete snags a few off my plate and at other times he cons me out of more than a few).  Basically I do my best SWAG bolus and adjust later if necessary.  Before bed I needed about a half unit correction and that seemed fine.

Fast forward to 4:30 a.m. when I woke up feeling cruddy.  I didn’t have a CGM sensor on because I’d decided to take a rare few days off, so I got up to test my blood sugar.  I was shocked to see 273 glaring back at me!  Even with the candied walnuts, popping a number in the 270s after that salad was crazy.  I bolused my correction, drank some water and tried to go back to sleep.  By 7:00 a.m. I was feeling really sick to my stomach.  I managed to hold things together and when I dragged myself out of bed and tested, I was happy to see I was back down to 144.

Unfortunately that didn’t last long.  A couple hours later I was back up to 259 despite the fact that I felt too icky to eat anything.  It occurred to me that I should check for ketones, and sure enough the strip quickly turned that pretty purple shade indicating Moderate.  So I’m drinking lots of water, I took my correction by injection, and I’m trying to eat a little something.  I've also happily ended my CGM vacation and fired up a new sensor, grateful to be able to keep close track of what is going on. 

But I can’t help wondering, do I have ketones because I feel sick?  Or do I feel sick because I have ketones?  If the injection brings me back into range, I’ll change out my site and see if that clears up the highs and the ketones, and hopefully the queasiness.  And I suppose I’ll have my answer.  But right now I’m in the endless chicken / egg circle of wondering what came first, the ketones or the crud?

Nonsense . . . .

Sometimes I think the most frustrating thing about diabetes is the complete and utter nonsense it throws.  That’s also probably the thing that the general public just doesn’t understand.  Need an example?  No problem.


 Last week we rang in the New Year at a casino.  First we had dinner at a nearby restaurant.  I ordered a Key Lime Martini.  I ordered the stuffed fillet of sole with a baked potato.  I knew it was a lot of carbs so I skipped the bread and starchy options at the salad bar, but I was still prepared to run a bit higher all night.  I decided I’d be okay with it (as long as my blood sugars stayed somewhat within reason) and I’d just have a good time celebrating with Pete and our friends.

Upon arriving at the casino, my low alarm rang.  I tested and treated and thought I was done.  NOPE!  This ring - test - treat cycle continued all.  night.  long.  I seriously hovered in the 50s and 60s no matter what I consumed.  I practically ran through the entire (huge) supply of low stuff I lug around with me.  And then, at 11:45 I tested again and a 38 flashed up from me meter.  That was when I really started to get scared - and I think my friends did too.  Pete got me a bottle of orange juice and I drank most of it and finally got my blood sugar up to 101.  But an hour later, when we got to our hotel, I was down a bit to 83.  Seriously, I was sure I’d be about 283 by that time, but  no.  Complete nonsense, right?

And then there was last night.  We had dinner at my parent’s house, just like every Sunday.  Mom make spaghetti, just like every Sunday.  I tested, dosed, and ate, just like every Sunday.  I’ve never really had a blood sugar problem with pasta, and by now I have my Sunday night dinner bolus down cold.  But last night?  Before the after-dinner coffee was even brewed I was greeted with double up arrows on my CGM.  I had showered before we left for my parent’s house, so I though maybe I hadn’t connected my pump properly.  A quick run to the bathroom gave me no answers - the pump was connected and working fine.  It was just complete nonsense.

A low when I should be high.  A high when I should be fine.  Diabetes = Nonsense!!  Has it thrown you any nonsense lately?