Tuesday, August 13, 2013

When the Scary Crashes In . . . .

Living with diabetes is a delicate balance for me.  I need to be mindful of the horrible things this disease can bring.  But I can’t let myself dwell on them too much because I have to LIVE my life.  Sometimes, though, the scary just crashes in.

Sunday night, for the first time in my life, I needed Glucagon.  I actually don’t remember that part at all and was completely shocked when Pete said “You remember I gave you Glucagon, right?”.  I vaguely remember some juice I wouldn’t drink, and that’s about it.  Pete was pretty intimidated by the LONG list of instructions and HUGE needle - when he stuck it in my leg he expected me to jump up screaming like they do on T.V.  Apparently all I did was tell him to “Stop pinching me” - but then again, the needle was in my thigh, not in my heart like on T.V.

I spent all day yesterday feeling like I’d been run over by a truck.  (I was unprepared for how awful I’d feel, either from the Glucagon or the low itself or the combination of the two.)  But anyway, I’m okay.  Well, I’m physically okay.  Mentally?  I’m still kind of freaked out.  I don’t quite know what to write, what to think, what to say.  I’m not quite ready yet to dive in to any more details of the night.  For now, I just need to put it behind me and keep going . . . . .


  1. Holy smokes. I hope you feel better soon. *bunny hugs*

  2. I am so sorry. Please take it slow and recover.

  3. Ugh. That sucks. Somebody in the DOC (can't remember who) wrote about the use of glucagon viewed as a failure; and that it SHOULD NOT BE viewed that way. I know that doesn't take away the scariness - a low when you don't remember stuff is scary as hell, regardless as to the treatment. I'm glad you are here telling us the story and that Pete was an awesome T3. Good luck as you continue to figure out these lows.

    1. Honestly, I do kind of see it as a failure on my part - like I should have been more careful and done better. (Funny thing is, I would never think that when anybody else needed glucagon.) I can't even tell you how many times I've apologized to Pete since Sunday night. :(

  4. So glad that you're okay... and that Pete was there! Hooray for Pete!

  5. Yikes Karen! I am so sorry to hear about what you and Pete went through. I've been given glucagon five times (none since age 15), but i remember them being so traumatizing. For the next few days after each of my 'episodes' I felt really fuzzy. I remember that feeling so well. I wish you weren't going through it. I remember it leaving me kind of apathetic. It was like I didn't have enough energy to put the same care towards things as I normally would. I hope your comeback is quickly approaching.

    And about apologizing to Pete, what if you just hug him and say thank you.

    Like Joanne said above, he saved you. Let him be the hero instead of you feeling like a burden!

    Thank you for sharing during the rough patch.

    Sending healing energy your way. ..

    & Hugs.

  6. I don't suppose Pete would be willing to write a post?
    We have never used it and hope we never do but (and please don't be offended) I feel like I have a million questions.
    When you are feeling up for it. Please share more about what happened. So we can learn what the experience is like so perhaps we can be better prepared (if you can ever really BE prepared- which I am sure you cannot).
    But we all know it helps knowing that we are all in this together and learning from each other's experiences.

    I would love to hear how Pete "knew" he was at the point of no return on using the glucagon. I am sure everyone else has too - but I know we have come close on an occasion but managed to get through without it. Was he hesitant or did he "KNOW?"

    How long did it take for you to "come around."

    I am so glad you are OK and I am hugging Pete right there with you because from a caregiver's perspective, he is probably so emotionally drained and I can appreciate that perspective. Love you guys and please share more if you are willing.

  7. Can I post a HUG to you? I think i'm at a loss for words as well, your scary is my scary, and I know how much i'm scared about scary cashing in so I can only guess where your head might be at.

    Like Denise, i'm quite curious what the "before" moments were like. I've managed 33 years without having being so low as to require glucagon (touch wood, sneeze three times, throw salt over my shoulder and all those "please don't curse me for saying that" sorts of things), had some really scary, nasty lows like you, but always made it back from the brink. I've always wanted to know what happens when that fine line gets crossed.

    and I love Heather's advice to just give Pete a hug and say "thank you", from you, from me and from everyone your wonderful words and life have touched.

  8. Lots of hugs. And, these comments are wonderful and say such great things about our community.

    So glad you are ok!

  9. Glad you are okay and hopefully you just "need a day" and are now well onto the road to recovery. Much love to you Karen. xo

  10. Glad you're okay. Glad Pete was there. Glad he grabbed the glucagon.
    I'm just glad.

  11. Lots of love to Pete for being so smart.
    As I said on Twitter, this post is a hard reminder why we should have glucagon even after 34years of not needing it.
    Feel better soon!

  12. Trying to find something useful to say, other thank thank God you're ok, and bless Pete!

    Love you friend.

  13. Love and lots of (((HUGS)))

  14. After Laurens wicked scary crazy freaked out low she felt like crap for about 24 hours. I mean CRAP. Like run over by a truck crap. I'm so glad you are okay. We adore you! and you do NOT have to write about this if you do not want to.

  15. Look, I'd be embarassed too if I needed glucagon. I understand how you feel. (Is the feeling justified? Probably not, as many of the above comments have suggested).

    But I'd be more embarrassed if I needed glucagon and DIDN'T HAVE ANY. The way things are right now for me, the first can't happen without the second. And not having the proper emergency treatments ready and standing-by IS something that I could justify being ashamed of.

    Forget what happened (for now). Be grateful and proud that you were prepared, and that Pete knew just what to do and when to do it. That's what matters.

    Go easy on yourself ... feel better ... and get a refill on that spent Glucagon kit.

  16. (((hugs))) So glad that your husband was there for you. Diabetes is just so darn scary. I am happy that you are starting to feel better.

  17. Wow... get some rest. Sorry about these crazy, scary lows. If it means anything, remember that being in range all the time means being closer to lows all the time. But I totally understand everything you wrote in your last paragraph. That's the exact feeling I've had in similar circumstances. Be well.

  18. More electronic hugs, to both you and Pete. And I love the above idea that Pete guest post on this. I live alone, so things like this are super-scary to me.

  19. Holy crap! I can't imagine what you went through but it hurts my heart to think that you've had to deal with this (and for Pete too!) I've been really bad about reading blogs and feel as if I've drifted away. I'm planning to come back more often and next time I hope to see a happier post. See what you can do about that okay? ;) Hang in there.

  20. Thinking of you and hope you recover from the after-effects soon. Scary--absolutely! It's all of our greatest fear, at least I think...because it's the one we have the least control over. It can happen so fast. We've seen "LOW" with a down arrow on the CGM (with a meter reading of 39)and I wonder if I'm going to catch it in time. Off to the endo tomorrow...gonna ask for extra glucagon. I like Scott's "get a refill on that spent Glucagon kit"! We have one that stays at school in her classroom and one in her kit that she carries everywhere...suddenly that doesn't seem like enough. Thank you for posting what you were able to.

  21. So glad that you are ok! This is my worst fear! I always forget to renew my prescription for Glucagon because it seems like such a waste when I never use it....then I read your story! We never know when that time may come and thank God you had yours!!! Thank God that Pete was brave enough to use it!!

    Great big hugs for you and Pete!

  22. I am so sorry you and Pete had to deal with this and I'm so glad you're OK!
    I wish I could jump through my computer and bandwidth & give you and Pete big hugs - And I'm so mad at diabetes for putting you though that!

  23. Wow, I am so glad you are okay and Pete was there. SO scary!!

  24. So glad that you are ok, and thank you for sharing with us! I can only imagine how scary it must have been to realize that you needed a glucagon and don't even remember using it! I don't think I've used one since I was little....and I'm definitely calling my doctor tomorrow to get an updated prescription for a new one. We are so lucky that we can use a glucagon to help us when diabetes doesn't play fair. I hope you start to feel back to normal soon!

  25. Aww, so scary! Glad you are OK and that Pete was able to help! Also a good thing your glucagon wasn't expired-I always need to remind myself to keep a check on the expiration date

  26. That is truly scary! I am glad that all my 7 years of type 1, I have not past out or had a seizure.


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